"All my life's buried here, heap earth upon it"
All I get
If I look up
Into the twilight sky
Is a fucking crick
In the back of my neck
And bird shit in my eye
Somewhere Out There
I’m sure
your star
shines
brightly,
Up
there
in the
sky.
I try
to search
for it
nightly,
Yet it
always
passes
me by.
(Originally Posted 29.11.2019)
It doesn’t hurt as much
To look nowadays
But I’ll admit
That I don’t too often
As some of the things
We got up to back then
Are probably
Best forgotten
Polaroid Memories
I can no
longer
look at
at your
face
My
eyes I
have to
sheathe
For
tears
begin
to flow
at pace
And I
can no
longer
breathe
(Originally Posted 28.11.2019)
Many more moons
Have passed since then
And plenty of suns
Now too
In fact it’s been
1,458 days
That I’ve been here
Without you
Xxx
Many A Moon
As that
day draws
ever closer
The pain
cannot be
avoided
To think
it was just
a year ago
When my
whole world
imploded
(Originally Posted 28.11.2019)
I think we both knew
Deep down
That she would soon
Become another
That you’d be left
A husband bereft
And your kids
Without their mother
Now I know
That she had longer
And to her death
You had all faced up
Still it pains me so much
To see you
In the Under 50’s
Widow’s club
The News Nobody Wants
I hope
it all
goes well
today
I hope
with
all my
heart
For I
couldn’t
bear
for you
To live
as I
now do
And
have
your lives
torn apart
(Originally Posted 28.11.2019)
You always were the joker
Who we could count on for a laugh
So it’s been hard to watch you
Being literally torn in half
But you don’t have to pretend with us
Or put on your best gameface
As we know, one day, that humour
Will return to its rightful place
GameFace
All I do is let
people down
They want
me to smile
But I can
only frown
For I no longer
have the energy
To be the person
they want me to be
(Originally Posted 27.11.2019)
This is still my answer
To most questions nowadays
All since that day
He went away
And I inherently changed
Passive
Who knows
And, quite frankly,
Who cares
(Originally Posted 27.11.2020)
You can say sorry
All you want
And truly mean
What you say
But when you’ve been burnt
All that pain and hurt
Doesn’t ever
Just go away
The Bargain
Who knows
when our
time will
come
But I fear
it’s not
just yet
For you
have to
forgive
yourself
And I
have to
forget
(Originally Posted 27.11.2019)
One day I
Will tell the world
And dance in the flames
As your name burns
My Lips Are Sealed
Don’t you worry
I’ll never tell
How much you hurt me
And put me through hell
But not to keep
Your good name intact
But more to ensure
You never come back
(Originally Posted 26.11.2020)
It’s been a long time
Since I’ve seen you
But don’t think I have forgotten
How truly rank
And repulsive you are
That even your insides are rotten
Grandiose
I’ll always
be the
better
person
But
there’s
no need
to sweat it
I will
always
be hanging
around
To make
sure you
don’t
forget it
(Originally Posted 26.11.2019)
Please don’t think,
Darling boy,
That you’re special
In any way
As you were not
The only one
Who saw to me
That day
Sinderella
Is that
really
the time,
he said,
I should
grab my
things
and leave
Well don’t
let me
keep you,
she said,
as I’ve
got others
to please
(Originally Posted 26.11.2019)
Did you always love her?
No
Did she always love you?
Yes
Did that change anything?
Absolutely
Unrequited (Part One)
Did you always love him?
Yes
Did he always love you?
No
Did that change anything?
Never
(Originally Posted 25.11.2019)
I cannot imagine
I meant the Jesus
In the title of this piece
As it’s far more likely
To be a Jesús
Who’d make me go weak at the knees
Christ On A Bike
It
truly
is a
wonder
To see
such a
glorious
sight
My
heart
beats
like
thunder
As my
body
sings
with
delight
(Originally Posted 25.11.2019)
I cannot continue forever
In fact I’m nearly spent
But there will always others
Who will use this place to vent
‘Want’
An artist for the ages
Your words leave me floored
What else is there to say?
Other than please, give me more
(Originally Posted 25.10.2020)
It’s like saying hello
To your oldest friend
But seeing them is conflicting
You enjoy the sting
Of the comfort they bring
But not of the wounds you’re inflicting
Scabs
Picking at these circles
All itchy, bloody and raw
Wondering why
The fuck am I
Doing this shit again for
(Originally Posted 24.11.2020)
There is no need
To update this one
The title says it all
Imprisoned
We’d like to think
We all have a choice
But for some their hands tied
Their opinions
They cannot voice
As their rights are being denied
(Originally Posted 24.11.2019)
If anything was found
To be written down
They’d hang us both the same
So we must stay indoors
Until the laws
That seek to divide us are changed
Significant Others
Why oh
why can’t
you write
such
poetry
for me?
For our
love is
forbidden
and so
could
never be!
(Originally Posted 23.11.2019)
Conversation should be encouraged
As healthy discourse can be great
But when you’re asked to provide
Basic human rights
It should never be a debate
Impasse
How
can
we
ever
put
things
right?
When
you
won’t
accept
you’re
wrong?
(Originally Posted 23.11.2019)
Early this morning
Whilst stood on the street
The plumpest wee robin
Landed at my feet
It looked like she’d managed
To escape her cage
And that she was ready
To face winter’s rage
Unfathomable Cruelty
Only I
know why
the caged
bird sings
It’s because
some bastard
clipped it’s
wings
Yet as the
tears rise
and the
anger stings
The bird
knows it’s
just one of
those things
(Originally Posted 22.11.2019)
I’ve never been one
For writing pretty
As you can probably tell
From this little ditty
Rhubarb
Searching
for
light
Raised
in
darkness
Our
numbers
grow
Despite
the
sparseness
(Originally Posted 22.11.2019)
A tale of love
Unrequited,
Ever so sad
Yet I’m secretly
Delighted
To have experienced it.
Otherwise,
How would I have known?
‘You Can’t Always Get What You Want’
It’s not you
It’s not me
It’s just the way
It has to be
(Originally Posted 21.11.2020)
It is all
Well and good
Spending time
With old friends
Yet it’s always me
Who leaves emptily
When the night
Inevitably ends
Catching Up
It
was
so
good
to see
you
But
now
I’m
glad
you’ve
gone
You
remind
me too
much of
my life
before
And
what
has
since
gone
wrong
(Originally Posted 21.11.2019)
It was so much easier
Back then
As we fell in love
With our friends
Now don’t get me wrong
The drugs played a part
But we were also more open
To sharing our hearts
Love In The 90’s
No one could wear
A band t-shirt like you
With your longer hair
And grey cardigan too
That smile so shy
Those Doc Marten boots
It is no wonder why
We were in such cahoots
(Originally Posted 20.11.2020)
I don’t want a boy
She said
With romantic ideals
I need a man
With balls of steel
The Rescuer
We can
leave
together,
He
said,
I promise
I’ll look
after you.
When
will you
grow up,
She
said,
You poor
misguided
fool.
(Originally Posted 20.11.2019)
Protecting yourself
From someone else
Doesn’t make you mean
It just shows that you
In my view
Are great at forward planning
Weak
I really am sorry
I cannot take your weight
For my arms are too broken
From carrying my own
(Originally Posted 19.11.2020)
You may well have been dead
Nearly four years to the day
Yet you still have the power
To take my breath away
Xxx
A Different Coat
I cried for
hours this
morning
I found your
notebook in
my pocket
Now I’ve
started to
read it
I don’t
know how
to stop it
(Originally Posted 19.11.2019)
Even my love poems
It seems
Have a sinister tone
So it’s no wonder
That I’ve spent
So long on my own
Achilles H(eel)
Lingering
on the
ocean floor
Lurking
in the
starkness
This is
where we
both belong
Hidden
amongst
the darkness
(Originally Posted 18.11.2019)
This type of positive sentiment
Is all well and good
But it’s of no use
When you cannot produce
The feelings others say you should
The (Not So) Funny Man
‘A day without laughter is a day wasted…’
Oh just fuck off Charlie,
Life’s far more complicated.
(Originally Posted 18.11.2019)
As time goes on
It gets harder
Their behavior to excuse
I’ve drank so many toasts
To so many men now
That I’ve run out of booze
Liars
Let’s
all
raise
our
glasses
And
make a
drunken
toast
To all
those
cruel
bastards
out there
Who
claim
they
love us
the most
(Originally Posted 18.11.2019)
When I think over
These last few years
I really have suffered a lot
So my house may well
Now be up for sale
But my heart definitely is not
Home Sweet Home
They say
you can
never go
home
again
And I’m
starting
to believe
that’s
true
For all
that resides
here now
is a world
of pain
And
far too
many
memories
of you
(Originally Posted 17.11.2019)
I’m going to have to leave
He said
But please know I tried my best
It’s no problem to me at all
She said
As you’d already failed the test
High Maintenance
I’m not looking for just anyone
For not just anyone will do
It’ll take someone superhuman
To survive what I’ll put them through
(Originally Posted 17.11.2020)
The older I get
And the more I see
I realise
Our biggest lie
Is meritocracy
Light Years Away
If
we
are
all
supposed
to be
stars
Why
do
some
shine
brighter
than
others?
(Originally Posted 16.11.2020)
Remove the paracetamol
And hide the razor blades
As I feel like shit
Again today
So you need to take the reins
The Daily Struggle
I went back to bed
Three times today
To try to dream
This pain away
Yet it didn’t work
So now I’m awake
Do I have any choice
But my life to take?
(Originally Posted 16.11.2020)
It was definitely you
I saw tonight
And I’ll admit
I took great delight
In walking by
Without a care
Just a smug little smile
And my nose in the air
Arm in arm
With my actual friends
As they’re all I need
In the end
At A Glance
If it
was you
I saw
in that
doorway
tonight
I hope
my presence
gave
you a
fright
And you
realise
now
that
I’m
happy
And
that it’s
just you
I don’t
want
to see
(Originally Posted 16.11.2019)
You’re in a safe space here
She said
I’ve helped people like you before
The only reason that worked
She said
Is because they wanted to talk
The Rebuttal
You
know
nothing
about me
You
sanctimonious
cunt
Now fuck
off and
leave me
alone
(Originally Posted 15.11.2019)
I only did this style
A handful of times
And reading back
I see why
As it seems
My particular
Stream of consciousness
Reveals nothing
But utter shite
Sick Of It All
I feel
so small
my skin
crawls
with the
itch of a
thousand
years
eyes
bawl
from the
pain
while
all the
time you
laugh
from
behind
the wall
ready to
hurl
your
next
curveball
my way
(Originally Posted 15.11.2019)
The problem
With jumping in
Feet first
Is that
Both parties
Are unrehearsed
Playing For Time
Calm your jets
Drink your tea
If love will wait
Then so can we
(Originally Posted 14.11.2020)
This is what depression does
It strips you bare until life becomes
Just too much to contemplate.
So you lie there alone
Isolated at home
And accept what you feel is fate.
Meanwhile everyone else
Is worried about you.
Totally clueless
As to how to help you.
Ultimately nobody wins.
So fuck depression,
And all that it brings.
In My Eyes
No one
sees
me as
anything
more
Than a
sad and
lonely
depressed
old bore
A pathetic
waste of
space for
sure
Just
another
nuisance
to ignore
(Originally Posted 14.11.2019)
There I was
Worried you would leave
But I’ve been granted
A reprieve
I shouldn’t ever have doubted
Your ability
To be broken hearted
And yet still love me
No Matter What?
How
long
will
you
Be
here
for
me
When
your
own
tradegy
strikes
What
will
happen
To
our
love
When
your
reality
bites?
(Originally Posted 13.11.2020)
I guess I hadn’t realised
Others would dream about their dead
That it’s not just me
At the mercy
Of the thoughts inside their head
What I never expected, however,
Is their dreams seem to be quite pleasant
Not like mine
Where he’s still dying
And fear is ever-present
Now I’m wondering how they do it
And if I could control my dreams
As to see him smile
Just for a while
May well reduce my screams
‘You Don’t Know What You’ve Got ‘Til It’s Gone ‘
It’s
only
now
I dream
of
you
Now
that
you
are
dead
If
only
you
were
still
here
And
not
just
inside
my
head
Xxx
(Originally Posted 12.11.2020)
After all is said and done
With battles lost and wars won
I’m starting to think differently
And relationships now are not for me
Expired
If you no longer love each other
Then what’s the fucking point
Just staying together to destroy each other
Noses always out of joint
Why not just call it quits
As it’s clear neither of you tries
That has to be better than being miserable
Until one of the two of you dies
(Originally Posted 12.11.2021)
It wasn’t our time
Nor was it the place
But I’ll never forget
Your sweet embrace
The Reference
When it is
I see
Her next
I’ll be sure
To let
Her know
How you’re
Passionate,
Funny
And kind
And how
It hurts
To let
You go
(Originally Posted 11.11.2021)
That day
Still comes
Every year
Despite
My avoidance
As it
Draws near
One Year Ago
If I
just
don’t
think
about
it
Then
maybe
that
day
won’t
come
I’m
just
not
sure
I can
face it
When
all
is
said
and
done
(Originally Posted 11.11.2019)
You will reap
What you sow
Isn’t that what they say?
Well if that’s true
Then I promise you
There’s a fucking whirlwind
On the way
Penance
You’ll probably never see me again
And I’m quite happy with that
As it’s the very least you deserve
For being such an obnoxious twat
(Originally Posted 10.11.2019)
Well I know exactly
What I think of you
All blotchy and balding
At forty two
Now I’m glad we split
At our old school gates
Back when I was seven
And you were eight
High School Reunions
I
wonder
what
You’d
think
of me
now
Fat,
forty
and
fucked
Would
you
still
love me
forever
Want
to be
together
whatever
Or be
thankful
for the
life
you
ducked
(Originally Posted 10.11.2020)
I’ve really tried hard
These last few years
To become more authentic
But I fear in trying
To come out of hiding
I just look even more eccentric
‘Getting Away With It’
I’m
pretty
good
at it
now
Hiding
all
my
flaws
Thank
God
you
don’t
see
The
real
me
The
one
that’s
such a
fraud
(Originally Posted 09.11.2020)
Whatever will they think of you
All your fans and acolytes
Because they will find out
All about
What you would do to us at night
Enjoy My Silence
I’ll
say
it was
my
fault
I’ll
take
all
the
blame
Just to
protect
you
and
yours
From
feeling
this
terrible
shame
But
don’t
think
it’ll
last
As
I won’t
stay
quiet
forever
One day
I will
tell
the
truth
And
all ties
they
will
sever
(Originally Posted 09.11.2019)
If you want to know
My state of mind
On any given day
Just look at my nails
As they’ll tell the tale
Of how I’m feeling straight away
A Messy Job
Why oh why
did I try
to paint
my nails
on a train?
Never will
I attempt
such a
ridiculous
thing again!
(Originally Posted 09.11.2019)
This is what can happen
When you go into these things blind
Not only do they
Abuse your body
But they also fuck with your mind
Obviously Oblivious
Just
look
what
you’ve
done
She
said
You’ve
gone
and
broken
my
heart
Don’t
pretend
you
didn’t
know
He
said
That
this
would
happen
from
the
start
(Originally Posted 08.11.2019)
I’ll never look on the bright side
Or see that glass half full
As my penchant for misery
Has now come to be
Very much dyed in the wool
‘Jealous Guy’
Some
days
I am
acutely
aware
That
you
have
much
more
fun
than
me
I
suppose
it’s
not
that
hard
to
believe
Given
my
penchant
for
misery
(Originally Posted 08.11.2020)
I should really take
My own advice
And instead of all this droning
Pull myself together
Whatever the weather
And just stop fucking moaning
Worry Less
And
just
get
on
with
it
It’s
not
like
everyone
else
Isn’t
also
wading
through
shit
(Originally Posted 07.11.2020)
After all those years
Of loving you
And trying my best
To understand
If only I knew
It would be you
Who’d be the one
To drop my hand
Me & You
Watch
me
and
you’ll
sense
it
Touch
me
and
you’ll
know
Tell
me
and
you’ll
feel
it
Hold
me
and
don’t
let go
(Originally Posted 07.11.2019)
That is how
It was back then
When I had no choice
But to rely on pills
One to find a way
To get through each day
And several more
To help me rebuild
Happy Pills
I think
we’ll
increase
your dose,
She
said,
To stop
you
feeling so
morose.
I’ll
easily
give it
a try,
I
said,
But I’m
pretty sure
the end
is nigh.
(Originally Posted 07.11.2019)
The car is booked
My bags are packed
But I’m not yet sure
If I’m coming back
The Ends Of The Earth
I really
cannot
wait to
drive
All
along
that
rugged
coast
To
settle
in those
mountains
And
mourn
who
I miss
the most
Xxx
(Originally Posted 06.11.2020)
You will do it
Again one day
Hurt someone else
In the same way
And when you do
I’ll be there to say
You deserve to hang
Without delay
Criminal
We all
do bad
things
sometimes
Yet not
everyone
is made
to pay
But while
you will
never
admit your
crimes
Just know
the truth
will out
one day
(Originally Posted 06.11.2019)
Here I am stuck
In this carriage again
Honestly,
I could scream
I’m forever trying
To reach the end
Yet I always run out
Of steam
‘Forever Delayed’
Brought
to a
standstill
By leaves
on the
line ahead
Yet
another
signal
point
failure
Oh how
I wish
I’d stayed
in bed
(Originally Posted 05.11.2019)
I don’t know how it’s happened
And I can’t even tell you why
But, it seems, I’ve grown old
In love with the wrong fucking guy
Set In Stone
Neither of
us knows
If the life
we chose
Will work out
for the best
(Originally Posted 05.11.2019)
“Of all the gin joints
In all the world…
She walks into mine”
“I hope he doesn’t think
I came here for him
As I just fancied
A soda and lime”
Old Movies (1)
Come
death
come,
as fast
as you
can
As
frankly
my dear,
I don’t
give
a damn
(Originally Posted 04.11.2019)
After all that you
Put me through
You think a sorry will suffice
You’ve got no clue
Of what you’d need to do
For me to even think about playing nice
There’s No Excuse
It
didn’t
mean
a thing
back
then
And
it
certainly
doesn’t
now
So
you can
shove
your
apology
Up
your
arse
You
spiteful
little
cow
(Originally Posted 03/11/2020)
This is what, ultimately,
Was the cause of it all
When he’d reached the end
And I needed a friend
It wasn’t her I wanted to call
Not Everybody Hurts The Same
Privacy
is not
allowed,
it seems
When
you’re
trying
to grieve
People
get pissed
off,
it seems
If you don’t
wear your
heart on
your sleeve
(Originally Posted 03.11.2019)
You’re not on social media
He said
That is unprecedented
There’s nothing in my life
She said
That’s worth being documented
Restricted List
It
feels
so
good
to
block
you
Who
knew
how
happy
I’d
be
For
you’ve
had
so
much
of my
life
Now
you
won’t
get
another
piece
of me
(Originally Posted 02.11.2020)
Ramblings Of A Fragile Mind 
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