Stuck

I know it comes evey year

Yet I’m still no more prepared

As much as I try

I’m still left high and dry

With any chance to move on impaired


That Day

I’m scared
of what
that day
will bring,

As I
know it’s
approaching
fast.

Even if
it’s the
start of
my future,

There’s no
way of
forgetting
my past.

(Originally Posted 05.09.2019)

Bien Sûr

Well you certainly seem happier

He said

This is the busiest I think you’ve been

I’ve always done my best work

She said

When fuelled by carbs and caffeine


Auberge de Lanouaille

You
should
use
this
time
to
think

He
said

About
what
it is
you
want

Only
if you
bring
me
coffee

She
said

And
a hot
buttered
croissant

(Originally Posted 05.09.2020)

Peacetime

None of us won the battle

And certainly not the war

But my conscience has been

Squeaky fucking clean

Since showing you all the door


Acrimony

Whilst
trying
to fix
this
unconscionable
mess,
I’ve
realised
it’s all
fucking
pointless,
anyway.

Nobody wins.

(Originally Posted 05.09.2019)

Uninstalled

I knew you were only sending it

As you still wanted to scrap

So just to make sure

You got nothing more

I simply deleted the app


Digital Olive Branch

You can request
my friendship
all you like

But it’ll
never be
accepted

You can send,
send and
send it again

But it’ll
always be
rejected

(Originally Posted 05.09.2019)

Dull As Dishwater

It matters not

How I seem

Through these words

I’ve penned

For if we were to ever

Meet in person

You’d be disappointed

In the end


Telling Tales

Why don’t you
stay here
a while,
he said,
and have
a cup
of tea

But I don’t
understand,
she said,
why would
you want
to talk
to me?

You’ve got
a tale to
tell, he said,
and I’d
like to
find out
more

Well you’ll
be sad
to realise,
she said,
that I’m
nothing
but a bore

(Originally Posted 04.09.2019)

Your Butterfly, Madame…

It’s better to have loved and lost

Than to never have loved at all

And it’s better to hide the knives,

I find,

To protect your abdominal wall


The Dagger

At
least
I don’t
feel pain
anymore

As my
insides
spill
to the
floor

(Originally Posted 04.09.2020)

‘Tonight Has Taught Me Something’

Having spent another day

Putting my body through the mill

It couldn’t be more clear to me

That sleeping is a skill


Sleep Is Futile

What’s the
point in
going to bed

With all
this shit
inside my head

It’s not
like I’ll be
allowed to rest

With this
sickness deep
inside my chest

(Originally Posted 04.09.2019)

You Know Who Are (Part 3)

Looking back, it seems, that last year

I afforded you a reprieve

But make no mistake

Just ’cause I took a break

You’ve still got plenty of insults to recieve


You Know Who You Are (Part 2)

You
really
are
such a
prick

I don’t
know
how you
can show
your face

That
you think
this can
be fixed
so quickly

Is an
absolute
fucking
disgrace

(Originally Posted 03.09.2020)


You Know Who You Are (Part 1)

You
are
such
an
unbelievable
cunt

Your
behaviour
has
been
just
vile

I
wish
you
nothing
but
unhappiness

And
a
life
forever
spent in
exile

(Originally Posted 03.09.2019)

And Lots Of It

If love was all you needed

Then we’d all be happy as fuck

So it’s about time that we conceded

What you actually need is luck


Nowhere Near

I love you

You love me

If only that was enough

For us to be happy

(Originally Posted 03.09.2019)

Better This Way

I’m glad that you agree

She said

It’s most definitely for the best

They’d never forgive us anyway

He said

If we ever confessed


In Another Life, Perhaps

What
happened
the other
night

She
said

Must
never
happen
again

It
pains me
so much
to say it

He
said

But
we’re
better off
as friends

(Originally Posted 03.09.2020)

The Cost Of Living

I went back to work too early

Of that I have no doubt

But with bills to pay

Much to my dismay

I had no choice but to force myself out


Tuesday

I called in sick for work today.

My heart just couldn’t come out to play.

All I’ve done is lie in bed

Filled with thoughts of fear and dread.

With nausea consuming every movement,

My mood shows no sign of improvement.

I hate existing like this.

Full of anger, self loathing and all that shit.

I wonder how much more I can conceal

Before I decide to end it for real

(Originally Posted 03.09.2019)

Novelty Keyrings

My friend had one

Etched with that quote

Back when I was a kid

I’m not sure if

She ever believed it

Half as much as I did


Cinderella, I Am Not

There’s no such
thing as happily
ever after

There is only
heartbreak
and disaster

What you see
in their films
is a lie

As life’s a
bitch and
then you die

(Originally Posted 02.09.2019)

Yet Another Let Down

He wasn’t.

In fact, they never are.


Forever

My happiness
is fleeting,
she said,
but my pain
is forever

I cannot help
repeating,
he said,
that I’m here
for you whatever

(Originally Posted 02.09.2019)

Bonne Idée

It would’ve been all too easy

To enact the ultimate ‘au revoir’

So just in case I was tempted

I made sure to sell my car


#8 The Optimist

This is

A message

From your favourite

Depressive

To say all

Is well with me

Here’s hoping

It lasts

That those days

Have passed

And I don’t drive

Into a tree

(Originally Posted 02.09.2021)

On Deaf Ears

I couldn’t begin tell you

How true this one still is

As even now I spend each morning

Screaming into the abyss


#7 The Banshee

After all the wailing

And gnashing of teeth

There’s no point in being violent

From now on

With my spirit long gone

All my screams will be silent

(Originally Posted 02.09.2021)

Different For Us All

Now I don’t bother

With feelings at all

They wouldn’t get it

Even if I tried

No one cares

As it was my man,

Not theirs,

Who so unexpectedly died


Locked Away

As the
chasm
between
us

Continues
to grow

It gets
harder
and
harder

My
feelings
to show

Xxx

(Originally Posted 01.09.2020)

True Story

I’ve written quite a few times

About the shit these tricksters say

But I cannot deny

Or explain why

She said what she did that day


The Psychic

She told me this would happen

When we met many moons ago

She knew you were in jeopardy

That you would reap what you sow

She sent an angel to watch over you

While I sat and took the piss

How I wish that I’d known then

It would all end like this

(Originally Posted 01.09.2019)

Here, Rub This

It seems her wish

Wasn’t his command

Nor was ensuring

Her needs were met

This became

Pretty obvious

When they went back

To bed


Three Wishes

She stops
and sighs
as he
implores
her to stay

But I don’t
think you can
help me,
she says,
turning away

He looks
and smiles
as he
reaches for
her hand

Just trust
me, he says,
your
wish is my
command

(Originally Posted 01.09.2019)

Death Hurts

This was so true

For much of that first year

In fact it’s only now

I have realised

How much his illness

And his death

Had left me

Paralysed


The Robbery

Your illness
robbed you
of your life

And it
robbed me
of my mind

Your death
still cuts me
like a knife

So now
to madness
I am inclined

(Originally Posted 01.09.2019)

The Sadness In My Soul

I wish I could update this one

Comment on how it has aged

Yet it seems that when

I pick up the pen

It’s only my tears that fill the page


I Hope So

Sing
to me
some
more

She
said

For
your
voice
I hold
so dear

I’ll
always
sing to
you

He
said

Even
when
I’m no
longer
here

Xxx

(Originally Posted 01.09.2020)

‘So We Go Inside And We Gravely Read The Stones…’

This is it

Where she now lies

The lonely widow

Who always cried

If only she

Had married again

Perhaps she may

Have forgotten her pain


Lovers Reunited

If I
can’t have
the one
that’s gone
then I’ll
just wait
out here,
alone,
until there’s
an end
to all
this pain
and our
hearts can
beat together
again

(Originally Posted 31.08.2019)

Lighting The Touchpaper (Part Four)

When
they
came
to take
me away

They
asked if
I had
anything
to say

And so
it was
the truth
I uttered

That you
never
knew
which
side

Your
bread
was
buttered


Lighting The Touchpaper (Part Three)

So
they
put
the
fire
out,
did
they?

All
blaring
sirens
and
flashes

Well
don’t
mind
me

As I
stand
here
with
glee

And
piss
upon
your
ashes

(Originally Posted 31.08.2019)


Lighting The Touchpaper (Part Two)

Now I
finally
know
the
truth

There
is no
turning
back

So
enjoy
the
burn

Motherfucker

Until
your
lips
turn
black

(Originally Posted 31.08.2019)


Lighting The Touchpaper (Part One)

Did
you
ever
love
me

Or
was
this
just
a joke?

I
need
to know
the
truth,
you see

Before
your
house
goes
up in
smoke

(Originally Posted 31.08.2020)

You Reap What You Sow

It was you

Who kicked

This hornet’s nest

So don’t cry

Now you’ve

Got stung


Radio Silence

It’s
not
that I’ll
never
call
you my
friend

It’s
just
that I’ll
never
call
you
again

(Originally Posted 31.08.2019)

Did You Spot It?

I pride myself on my titles

They’re often better than the rhyme

And this one here,

I have to say,

Is a particular favorite of mine


… – – – …

I
NEED
YOU
MORE
THAN
EVER
BEFORE

I
SIMPLY
CANNOT
DO
THIS
ANY
MORE

(Originally Posted 31.08.2019)

What A Waste

All those petty squabbles you had

The cold shoulders and silent treatment

They all come home to roost,

You know,

When you’re dealing with bereavement


Bedtime Bickering

And
you
accuse
me of
being
flirtatious?

When
your
behaviour
tonight
has been
outrageous!

(Originally Posted 30.08.2020)

Kill Me Now

I could very easily

Have left this job

Taken my life

In a different direction

But as I chose to stay

It’s yet another team day

Answering

This fucking inane question


Work

Well I
guess
there’s
nothing
else for it

Three hours
left wading
through
this
bullshit

Perhaps I
should
hand in
my notice
and quit

At least
then that
would be
the end
of it

(Originally Posted 30.08.2019)

Never A Truer Word Written

If I ever get round

To publishing that book

This will be the inscription

Not only does it sound

Like a pretty good hook

It’s also an accurate description


Last Year

It wasn’t
just the
end of us

It was
the end of
everything

Xxx

(Originally Posted 29.08.2019)

Absurd

No one would believe it

Not even wrapped up in a bow

Even those who trust

In reincarnation

Would find this one hard to swallow


Making (Sh)It Up

Who
could
believe
we’d
get
this

That
we’d
ever
again
share
a kiss

That
both
of our
hearts
a beat
would
miss

That
we’d be
together
bathed
in bliss

(Originally Posted 29.08.2020)

Especially At Work

I used to hide

So much back then

I’m amazed I got through the day

Reading this I remember

How exhausted I was

Pretending that I was okay


Secret Anxiety

Sickness grows

Frustration shows

Conversation slows

But no one knows

(Originally Posted 28.09.2019)

*Grabs Coat*

Why don’t you come over

He said

It’s just me and a group of my friends

That’s very kind of you to offer

She said

I get so lonely at weekends


I’d Only Stand in the Kitchen Anyway…

For the third night in a row there are people having a party, somewhere, along my street.

I can hear them talking and laughing in their garden.

I can smell their cigarette smoke through my open window.

I can hear the rattle of beer bottles as they are thrown into the recycle bin.

Music blares away until the early hours.

I’m so jealous sitting here, miserable and alone, night after night.

I mean, I can be fun too you know.

Well, kind of.

(Originally Posted 28.08.2019)

Hamlet Is My Favorite, Obviously

Check me out

Getting all high brow

Quoting Shakespeare, no less

To help describe how

Hard it can be

When fighting off sadness

Even if there is method

In it’s madness


Shaking Spears

‘When sorrows come, they come not single spies, but in battalions ‘

‘Tell me about it, my friend, that’s why we fucking deserve medallions’

(Originally Posted 27.08.2020)

On Grief

People say things

Get better with time

Which may be their truth

But it isn’t mine


Not Long Now

Each day brings

Yet more false hope

Along with an another

Earth shattering new low

I really am just

Biding my time now

Waiting until

It’s my turn to go

(Originally Posted 27.08.2019)

A Tough Read

I really am quite thankful

I no longer feel like this

Even though day to day

Things aren’t always okay

At least I’ve stopped thinking that shit


Shotgun

At
this
point
I’ll
try
anything

She
said

It
can’t
do any
harm

Then
you
should
take
this
one

He
said

It’ll
work
like a
charm

(Originally Posted 27.08.2020)

Melting

Don’t get me wrong

It’ll take much more

Than just a smile

For my heart to thaw

But until such time

It doesn’t mean

That we can’t have fun

In between


Your Smile

Even
though
my
heart

Resides
in the
deep
freeze

Your
smile
has the
power

To make
me weak
at the
knees

(Originally Posted 27.08.2019)

Open To Interpretation

I’m not sure

If I meant this

In a playful way

Or not

Usually,

I would say I did

But back then

My humour

Was shot


Come Closer

I don’t bite.

Much.

(Originally Posted 27.08.2019)

‘And So The Conversation Turned’

You can deny it

All you want

Claim that you

Would never stray

But if I was to check

What’s on your neck

The truth would be plain as day


Love Bites

You
wore
your
roll
neck
jumper

So
you
thought
I wouldn’t
see

But
believe
me,
I know
full
well

Those
marks
weren’t
left
by me

(Originally Posted 26.08.2020)

Sticking To What I Know

Mostly I write poems

About depression, death and heartache

Yet sometimes I write poems, it seems,

Just for writing’s sake

This was one of those poems

Even now it doesn’t make much sense

Though I had just watched Braveheart (again)

If that’s any kind of defence


Masterplan

The
candle
grows
dimmer

As my
patience
wears
thinner

Whilst
I wait
for the
steel
to bolt

My
temper
a simmer

As
you
think
you’re
the
winner

Yet I
plan my
peasants’
revolt

(Originally Posted 25.08.2020)

I’d Have No Problem Saying It Now

Remember when you told me
It was the best show you’d ever seen
That you watched in tears
As your worst fears
Played out on the TV screen

Well, it wasn’t just a show for me
It was exactly how I felt
I lived through those scenes
On the silver screen
And dealt with it all myself

See, you never really understood
You made that abundantly clear
You didn’t sympathise
Let alone empathise
With me at any point that year

So now when I recall you saying
How you cried so selflessly
I know for a fact
It was all just an act
As you lied so effortlessly


What I Should Have Said

Get to fuck

You piece of shit

I will not stand

For any more pish

You think you’re it

But it’s just a front

You’re nothing more

Than a self serving cunt

(Originally Posted 25.08.2020)

Disappointing The Kid Inside

I must’ve overdosed on Disney

Or read too many fairy tales

For endings like this

Don’t actually exist

As true love always fails


Sleeping Beauty

I wish I could sleep forever

As silly as that seems

For then we’d be together

Happy, in my dreams

(Originally Posted 25.08.2021)

Let’s Go Back Again

What the fuck is wrong with us
Said the spider to the fly
Why can’t we just stay in one spot?

To be honest I just follow you
Said the fly to the spider
As you’re the only friend I’ve got


Let’s Go Back

This was the wrong choice
Said the spider to the fly
I think we should return

I suppose you’re right
Said the fly to the spider
When will we ever fucking learn?

(Originally Posted 25.08.2019)


Let’s Go

Fuck this shit
Said the spider to the fly
I really cannot be arsed

I agree entirely
Said the fly to the spider
I’m done with this bloody farce

(Originally Posted 25.08.2019)

Lockdown Suited Introverts

The covid pandemic

Was an awful time

We all lost blood,

Sweat and tears

But for some

The state sponsored

Avoidance of people

Was just a delight

To the ears


Hermitry

What if
I’m
enjoying
the new
normal

That
now I
finally
feel on
track

What
if I’d
like
to stay
this way

With
no
desire
to go
back

(Originally Posted 24.08.2020)

Together In Time

And so they sat,

Together in time,

Talking until dawn.

Not just did they speak,

Of their lives past,

But also of those to come.


Past Lives

I think I remember you,
she said,
I think we’ve met before.

Perhaps it was when I was young,
she said,
and before my heart was sore.

I don’t remember meeting,
he said,
although I really can’t be sure.

Why don’t you sit down now,
he said,
and talk to me some more.

(Originally Posted 24.08.2019)

Habit Of A Lifetime

Just stop this negative talk

He said

I won’t hear any more of it

But those seeds have been sown

She said

Ever since I was a kid


Sham(e)

I got
bored of
this shit
a long
time ago

These
endless
tales of
sadness
and woe

Now with
eyes that
burn from
the tears
that flow

I loathe
myself
more than
you’ll
ever know

(Originally Posted 23.08.2019)

A Repeat Performance

That being said

Given what happened in bed

One thing is certainly true

If I ever planned

To have a two night stand

It would most definitely be with you


In Beero Veritas

Who’d have thought

That we’d come to

Both half dead

And needing the loo

Perhaps we should

Have thought this through

Instead of getting drunk

And doing the do

(Originally Posted 23.08.2021)

Self Torture

Back then my head

Was in such a mess

I couldn’t even wish myself

A peaceful death


Out With A Bang

What is this
stabbing pain
in my chest?

Why is it
causing me
such unrest?

Fingers
crossed it’s
a heart attack

Then I
can leave
this place

And never
come back

(Originally Posted 23.08.2019)

‘The Sleeping Death’

Who am I trying to kid

She said

If anyone comes for me

It’ll be the evil queen

She said

With a poisoned apple or three


Kissing Frogs

I sit here on the sofa

All alone

With the hope of love

Completely gone

Yet I dare to dream

That perhaps one day

My prince will come

To kiss the pain away

(Originally Posted 23.08.2021)

‘Four Seasons In One Day’

I’ve always been indecisive

But now it’s worse than ever

The back and forth is so divisive

I’m about as reliable as the weather


Confusion

No!
No!
No!

Yes!
Yes!
Yes!

How am
I supposed
to decide
what to do

When my
head’s
in such
a mess?

(Originally Posted 22.08.2019)

The Promise That Can’t Be Kept

He knew right then

As he watched

The tear fall from her eye

It was best to forget

And to just let

His feelings for her die


Silent Conversations

Not yet
but soon
she says,
as she makes her
way to the door

But when,
how soon
he asks
as he stares
at the floor

Not yet
but soon
she says,
as her head
is slowly bowed

But when,
how soon
he asks
will we
be allowed?

(Originally Posted 22.08.2019)

Keeping It Brief

It’s been ages since I’ve seen you

She said

How are you doing my friend?

Oh, things are fine with me

She said

Not wishing to offend


Distraction

Maybe I could see a friend

Or give them a call instead

It must be better than wrestling

With these demons in my head

(Originally Posted 22.08.2021)

The Chosen One

I have long wanted to end it all

But you were always so full of purpose

As most can attest

Fate is a fickle mistress

But did she really have to curse us?


Do You Hear Me?

I’m still angry

You see

That you died

Before me

It’s just not

The way

It was meant

To be

Xxx

(Originally Posted 21.08.2020)

A Different Box Of Tricks

There are other ways

To deal with pain

Instead of creating your own,

Again


Scissors

It’s time
to put you
back in
your box

To fasten
the lid
and change
the locks

I cannot
continue
down this
path

For if I
do there
is no way
back

(Originally Posted 21.08.2019)

Master Of None

I wouldn’t worry too much

He said

Not everything can be a hit

I’m still amazed that anything I write

She said

Doesn’t always turn out this shit


Old Hat

You’ve
been
on my
mind
today

More
than
any
other
time

If only
it had
inspired
something
epic

Rather
than this
fucking
awful
rhyme

(Originally Posted 21.08.2020)

Marry Me

Do you know what, fuck this shit

She said

I’ve had enough of being polite

I really think you’re it

She said

And not just for tonight


Unsaid

Wouldn’t
it save
all
this
fuss
and
bother

If we
were
just
honest
with
each
other?

(Originally Posted 20.08.2020)

Still A Fair Assessment

There’s nothing more to add to this

As there’s nothing more to say.

This may have been written,

Three years ago,

But it remains the truth today.


Two Sides

I lie
in your bed
and I lie
to your face.

I am a
public fraud
and a private
disgrace.

(Originally Posted 20.09.2019)

Leaving It Blank

“If you don’t have anything nice to say,

Then don’t say anything at all.”

So I didn’t.


Just An Empty Space

(Originally Posted 20.08.2019)

Long Sleeves All Year Round

You can work through your issues

Until they’re no longer discernable

But it’s important to remember

Not all the results are reversible


The Sting

If
I had
never
gone
down
this
path

It
wouldn’t
hurt
so
much
in the
bath

(Originally Posted 19.08.2020)

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