"All my life's buried here, heap earth upon it"
If only one day
He’d answer back
Instead of just little
Old lunatic me
Shouting into the black
Into The Wind
As my life passes me by
I lose the will to even try
So I raise my hands to the sky
And scream why me, you arsehole, why?
(Originally Posted 07.12.2020)
For someone who never married
He said
You write about it often enough
Perhaps I was wrong all those years
She said
His proposals to rebuff
The Disengagement Party
I saw you looking
Over dinner
Your smile discreet
Hers a winner
I realised there
Was something more
When she sashayed
To the dance floor
I knew it then
In revelatory style
It was obvious we’d never
Walk down the ailse
(Originally Posted 17.08.2020)
It was she
Who stopped my hands from shaking
She
Who stopped my head from aching
She
Who stopped my voice from quaking
So why can’t she stop
My heart from breaking?
There it goes
The last glimmer of humanity
Flushed down the bog
Along with my sanity
You say you’re ever loving
Yet your cruelty holds no bounds
If you care as much
As they tell me
Then why do you make me frown
Does anybody know
What we are searching for?
Or where we’re supposed to look?
Because my motivation
Is fading
And it’s getting harder to give a fuck
I used to be quite angry
But now I just feel numb
It’s not what you’ve said
That’s messed with my head
But everything else you’ve done
Time moves on
Yet I’m stood still
Fading away
Losing the will
As each second
Passes me by
I can’t forget
Or stop asking why
We
only
really
reached
halfway
When
you
went
and
died
on me
Now
what
was
once
bright
is grey
As
I deal
with
life's
debris
I wish I could
take your plauditBut I just write
what comes to meMy inability
to self editLaid bare for
all to see
What did I do
to deserve this?
Why did this
happen to me?
Where will
I end up now?
Who is coming
to save me?
Why can’t I trust myself,
like I trusted you?Why can’t I protect myself,
like I protected you?Why can’t I love myself,
like I loved you?Why?
Ramblings Of A Fragile Mind 