Tag: Writing

Did You Miss Me?

It’s hard

To know

What to say

Let alone

What to post

In fact

Never before

Have I been 

So sure

About giving

Up the ghost

14

Still Fucking Miserable

It’s about time

You reared

Your ugly head

I was panicked

Fearing

The worst

And yet soon

You’ll be wishing

I was still missing

As there’s no

Let-up

To my verse

8

Absence

I guess you could say

I’ve been in mourning

With no desire to see

Yet another day dawning

And despite me trying

To relieve this burden

It would only be lying

To say my future is certain

30

Anonymously Happy

Do you think

It helps

He said

Writing these wry

Little observations

Well, I would 

Rather that

She said

Than suffer

Endless conversations

2

Believe Nothing

Now those old gods

Have disappeared

And it seems mere mortals

Are now revered

I can’t help but wonder

If all such crooks

Shouldn’t too be confined

To story books

(Inspired by a writing prompt offered by Michael at https://afterwards.blog/)

4

‘4 Real’

My poems are not

Very nice

Particularly warm,

Or fuzzy

But they do resonate

With those desolate

And who prefer their words

Bloody

4

An Audience Of One

I write a bit

Now you know

Nothing special

Or much to show

But just enough

To get me though

And show how much

I still miss you

0

Universal

She said she’d written it

About herself

When I saw her

On TV

But there’s no way

She could portray

The exact same feelings

As me

0

Onto Better Things

Back in the day

The words flowed freely

And I knew just what

To impart

But I’ve recently found

Since my new love’s in town

That for poems,

I’m no longer arsed

4

Take My Advice

If you find my words too dreary
Then just scroll on, my dear
‘Cause if you are looking for cheery
There’s nothing for you here

2

Unworthy

It seems as if

You’ve missed me

And my morbid tales

Of woe

Yet how anyone

Could miss

This pretentious

Bullshit

I will never know

12

Normal Service Is Resumed

I just needed

A bit of a break

For both my heart

And my minds sake

But now I’m back

Make no mistake

As there are both knives to sharpen

And old coals to rake

28

“I’ll Probably Never See You Again…”

When I first started 
Posting here 
I was struggling 
To hold on
A deep sadness
Had engulfed me
And all 
Of my hope 
Was gone 

My partner 
Of nigh on
Twenty years 
Had died
Just four months 
Before 
My heart 
Was broken 
And my life,
A token, 
I was failing
To endure 

Because, you see, 
He'd been taken
From me 
In the most horrific way
To witness 
If you've never seen it
I can tell you, 
With feeling, 
Cancer's a cunt
Of an illness 

So I began
To write again
As a way 
To express 
My emotions 
Thinking, 
At best, 
I might get 
Some rest
By recording
My rambling notions 

I knew
From the start 
Some readers 
Would baulk
At the truths 
That I'd lay bare
Suicidal thoughts 
And self harm, 
Of course, 
All referenced 
Without a care

But I had to be 
Authentically me
And reflect 
What I 
Was feeling 
Even though I knew 
The words 
I'd spew 
May leave 
More sensitive readers
Reeling 

And yet here 
I have found
Such a welcoming crowd
Who've helped me
Hugely 
When times were tough 
For their patience,
Kindness, 
And understanding 
I could never 
Thank them 
Enough 

So if you find
From here on in
That I'm no longer posting
As often 
Please know that you are, 
In no small part, 
The reason
I've started 
To soften 

And as for me 
Well, I will see
If I can continue 
To reduce 
My pain
But I'll take
Some comfort
And feel
A little triumphant 
Knowing, 
At least, 
I entertained 

❤️
72

Lighter (Bonus Post)

Well thank fuck for that

She said

As she walked away

With her empty head

Fair And Square

One
thousand
poems

And I am
finally
done

This
battle is
now over

And my
war has
been won

(Originally Posted 29.02.2020)

2

Twelve Days And Counting…

As the end

Draws ever near

I have to say

I’m feeling the fear

What will I do

If I don’t write

What will I do

With all this spite?

Pens Down

Nothing lasts

Forever

You know

Not you

Not me

And certainly not my poetry

(Originally Posted 17.02.2021)

6

My Life’s Work

At least you

Can look away

When the misery

Ensues

But these aren’t just

Words to me

They are actually

My issues

Well, You Asked…

Although
I find
your
writing
talent
genuinely
quite
considerable

Reading
your
words
over
again
really
does just
make me
miserable

(Originally Posted 28.01.2020)

2

Mightier Than Swords

A face you wouldn’t tire

Of thumping

With such a countenance

You’ve been cursed

But such a thing

Would be unbecoming

So instead

I’ll use my words

Pulling No Punches

Come for me again

My friend

And events will turn apace

Your head will spin

As that shit eating grin

Is wiped right off your face

(Originally Posted 18.01.2021)

0

Viewpoint

All these years

I’ve been writing

Calling you each

And every name

But perhaps I’ve been mean

Because it’s actually been

My attempt

To shift the blame

Who Gives A Shit

Have
I done

The
wrong
thing
again?

I
suppose
only
time

Will
tell

Until
then
I’ll try

To keep
myself
sane

While
I prepare

To
burn
in hell

(Originally Posted 04.01.2020)

0

In My Little Corner Of The Internet

Even when

I’m dead and gone

I know now my words

Will always live on

Indelible

The words
I write
may well
be stark

For they
are made
to leave
their mark

Upon your
weak and
thready
heart

Forever

(Originally Posted 12.12.2019)

4

Three Months Left

I cannot continue forever

In fact I’m nearly spent

But there will always others

Who will use this place to vent

‘Want’

An artist for the ages

Your words leave me floored

What else is there to say?

Other than please, give me more

(Originally Posted 25.10.2020)

11

Plagiarism Begins At Home

This is an interpolation

Or is it just out and out theft

Either way we know

Without the modifications below

That my lines would be bereft

Something Old / Something New

I wandered lonely as a cloud

Screaming the words fuck you out loud

As, like the night, she walked in beauty

I wished someone would just come along and shoot me

As I, in the wood, took the road less travelled

I sat and cried as my mind unravelled

And as we talked between the rooms

I closed my eyes and succumbed to the fumes

(Originally Posted 29.10.2019)

6

In Essence

If anyone asked

About my rhymes

I would most likely show them this

It’s an apt expression

Of my abject depression

And defines my blog’s premise

Innards

Like a
bird

Trapped
in it’s
cage

I sing
of love
and
lament

Bleeding
both

Introspective
rage

And
embittered
discontent

(Originally Posted 28.10.2020)

10

Birds Of A Feather

It still amazes me

To this day

That you even read my rhymes

Don’t get me wrong, my friend

It pleases me no end

But I do worry about you, at times

Wonderland

It’s nice
to think
I matter

That what
I feel is
shared

But really
I’m as mad
as a hatter

Surely no one
else is this
impaired?

(Originally Posted 25.10.2019)

4

Nothing Left To Say

I am pretty sure

I’ll give up soon

When I find a moment

That is opportune

I’ll say goodbye

Just after nightfall

And put down my pen

Once and for all

Done In

There’s
only so
much I
can write

Before
I go
to sleep
tonight

My
eyes are
heavy and
overtired

My
heart is
weary and
overfired

(Originally Posted 22.10.2019)

14

Pot-Valiant

2,995 posts

And one pickled liver later

It’s a good job

That I didn’t stop

Or I’d never have put pen to paper

Drinking

I fear
I’ve had
one too
many
tonight

Perhaps
now isn’t
the time
my story
to write

(Originally Posted 18.10.2019)

9

Waiting For Roadside Assistance

I’m not usually very good

With metaphors

But this one is pretty neat

Then I guess it would be

As it was conceived

While in the back seat of a Mini

Car Trouble

Nothing makes this better

Everything makes it worse

A body straining in first gear

But a mind stuck in reverse

(Originally Posted 28.09.2019)

2

Bien Sûr

Well you certainly seem happier

He said

This is the busiest I think you’ve been

I’ve always done my best work

She said

When fuelled by carbs and caffeine

Auberge de Lanouaille

You
should
use
this
time
to
think

He
said

About
what
it is
you
want

Only
if you
bring
me
coffee

She
said

And
a hot
buttered
croissant

(Originally Posted 05.09.2020)

2

Master Of None

I wouldn’t worry too much

He said

Not everything can be a hit

I’m still amazed that anything I write

She said

Doesn’t always turn out this shit

Old Hat

You’ve
been
on my
mind
today

More
than
any
other
time

If only
it had
inspired
something
epic

Rather
than this
fucking
awful
rhyme

(Originally Posted 21.08.2020)

0

Both Grinning And Bearing It

Yet I didn’t slip away

Quietly

I remained

And caused a fuss

I got my head down

And stuck around

To tell the story

Of us

‘Slip Away, Quietly’

All
happiness
is fleeting

All
sadness
is depleting

I am
no longer
competing

As from
sanity
I am
retreating

(Originally Posted 14.08.2019)

2

Timidity

I know that here I come across

As someone who speaks their mind

But in reality

Words can often fail me

And my voice is much harder to find

The Jumble Sale

I rummage around inside my head as I search for what to say

But my silence means all you hear is I don’t want you to stay

I rummage around inside my head as I look down to the floor

But my silence means all you hear is I don’t love you anymore

What is painfully sad for both of us is neither of these things are true

But the jumble sale of words in my head prevents me from being honest with you

(Originally Posted 28.07.2019)

7

Irresistible

You said you’d had enough

Back then

That you’d heard it all before

But I always knew

With these words I spew

You’d keep coming back for more

With A Wink

You
really
are

He
said

Without
doubt

The
most
depressing
woman
I’ve
met

Really

She
said

That
is a
shame

As
you
ain’t
seen
nothing
yet

(Originally Posted 23.07.2020)

4

Spot On

Sometimes

When you’re trying to rhyme

You hit on something

Quite profound

I’m pretty sure

This was one of those

Where I cracked it

First time ’round

(Prick)ly

Not
the
best
at
being
loved

But
pretty
good
at
loving

Not
the
best
at
being
pushed

But
pretty
good
at
shoving

(Originally Posted 16.07.2020)

7

Random #213

“You know, I should just write down all my random thoughts and stuff that happens to me and conversations I have and just add a bunch of he said, she said’s, and get it published…”

– Logan Huntzberger

Author’s Note:
I didn’t steal this idea.
Honestly.

18

Wow Part #4

I can tell

That there are posts

I’ve written to please

An audience

But there are a few

That make me freeze

As the pain I was in

Is obvious

It’s The Small Things That Hurt The Most

How long does it take

To reach for one mug

Or only set out one plate

To programme the heating

To click on at six

Instead of doing it myself at eight

To only buy

One pint of milk

Or get one lottery ticket

To stop saying hello

As I enter the house

Because you

Are no longer in it

(Originally Posted 14.05.2020)

4

Just Your Average Poet

I have been here

Just over three years

With 2,500 posts to boot

So if you still don’t know

To expect a shit show

Then there’s nothing else I can do

Brutal Is My Middle Name

And honest

Is my first

Do not bother

Reading on

Without expecting

The worst

(Originally Posted 01.05.2020)

15

Saying So Myself

Perhaps

I’m not so bad

At this poetry lark

After all

Interlude

Time has dragged on today

Even more than most

It started off quite well too

Sitting down with tea and toast

But then the clock seemed to stop

At some point this afternoon

When opening up my laptop

Did nothing to lift the gloom

And as the evening drew itself in

I have sat here all alone

Thouroughly bored in my own skin

Barely stifling a groan

So now I guess I’ll go to bed

And lie there on my own

Until the clock stops in my head

And I dream in monochrome

(Originally Posted 20.04.2020)

11

Someone’s Hero Somewhere

I am still amazed

To this day

That anyone continues reading

Who knew there could be

Such a community

For those with hearts that are bleeding

Nobody’s Hero

Please
take no
notice
of me

For I’m
as fucked
as anyone
can be

So don’t
let what
I write
enthrall

As they
are just
words,
after all

(Originally Posted 16.03.2020)

23

The Experience Since

Indeed she did

And she did it well

Or so some people said

Yet somehow now

Three years on

She’s still fucked in the head

The Beginning

‘Don’t be afraid to start poorly’

The kind man wrote

‘I will try’

The sad woman replied

And she did

(Originally Posted 01.03.2019)

8

From Tomorrow

I’ll be going on a journey

Down my very own memory lane

Back to the start of my WordPress life

To the advent of my pain

So please forgive me if you find

You are reading some posts again

But I feel the need to relive

Both the madness and the sane

35

The End Of The Line

It’s not that I’m leaving forever

I promise I’ll still be around

But the desire to fight

Let alone to write

Is proving too thin on the ground

35

Downing Tools

That’s it all done now

There’ll be no more

Or no less

Thank you for living

Through this with me

And not minding all the mess

7

The Dry Well

What can you do

When the words won’t flow

When you have exhausted

Every topic you know

Perhaps all there is

Is to put down the pen

And hope that one day

You’ll be hurt again

14

Losing The Will

I can’t think of another ditty

Or come up with a different rhyme

Not when what I write is so shitty

More than half of the time

22

#24 The Writer

Full of bleeding heart

That’s me

Slowly dying

For all to see

Hoping for words

To set the world alight

As I scribble away

In the dead of night

22

Debating At Dawn

I don’t agree

With what you write

But I respect your right

To post it

Just don’t expect

That I won’t interject

Or in my own words

Oppose it

24

L’appel du Vide

I knew from the beginning

He said

Within you there was a spark

Writing is now a passion

She said

With misery my trademark

31

Last Post

This is

My last post

Everything

Has been written

All sides

Of this cherry

Are now

Thoroughly bitten

34

Writer’s Block

I try to write but the words fail.

Sit, think, smoke, exhale.

As I reach for the coffee cup,

I wonder if my time is up.

Have I forgotten you,

Is that what this is?

The reason I can no longer write this shit?

Or could it be this depression is finally lifting?

Maybe the all encompassing darkness is shifting?

Perhaps after all this time my heart is mended.

And my love affair with words has ended.

(Originally Posted 11.08.2019)

28

The Bakery Aisle

You’re in the supermarket on a cold winters day.

You’re minding your own business, pushing your trolley and checking items off your list when your nose twitches at the smell of freshly baked bread. Tempted, you wander over to the bakery.

Your stomach grumbles as you peruse the counter. Your eyes widen as they drink in the glorious delights on offer. Loaves, rolls, buns, cakes, pastries, biscuits, tarts: each as tantalising as the next. After much internal deliberation you finally decide which one to buy.

A chocolate eclair.

You signal your selection to the assistant who hands you your prize in a cardboard box, neatly tied with ribbon. You carefully place the box at the far end of your trolley, safely stowed away from heavier household goods that might roll around and crush it.

You finish the rest of your shopping a little quicker now, somehow lighter of step, and stride with purpose to the checkout.

You hastily pack and pick up your shopping bags but you grip the box tightly in your hand, carrying it safely all the way out to your car.

You drive along with the box calling to you, provocatively, on the passenger seat. You glance over every few minutes, stretching out a protective hand and smiling in anticipation.

You get home and unpack your shopping whilst waiting, impatiently, for the kettle to boil. The box consumes your thoughts as you drum your fingers on the counter top, and your excitement continues to build.

You sit down in your favourite chair and make yourself comfortable. You tenderly untie the ribbon and lift the lid of the box. You lick your lips as your heart quickens and you finally take a bite of the glistening chocolate eclair.

You begin to realise, as you chew, that it doesn’t taste as good as you thought it would.

The cream is artificial and bland. The pastry is soggy and sticks to your cheeks. The chocolate is saccharine and hurts your teeth.

Disappointed, you put the remaining piece of the chocolate eclair back into the box, close the lid and re-tie the ribbon. You throw the box in the bin without a care in the world.

And that’s what love is like.

Being lured in by the chocolate eclair when, all along, you really should have picked the strawberry tart.

(Originally Posted 07.03.2019)

 

30

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