Category: Coping

Transgressions

In the beginning

I would always try

To be as honest as I could be

But in the end I fell

So far from the truth

That the line was a dot to me

16

Solo

Time flies

When you’re having fun

That’s why it’s still midnight

As I’m having none

16

Haywire

One minute I’m up

But then the next I’m down

It’s really hard

To fake this smile

When it’s easier to frown

19

Running Scared

In case you don’t come back

He said

You did really well today

Thank you very much

She said

But I don’t believe a word you say

6

The Expert

You just have to remember

He said

You can’t pour from an empty cup

Well mine is smashed to smithereens

She said

So how the fuck do I fill it up?

23

Insurance

What is it going to take

He said

For you to open up to me?

Another bottle of wine for starters

She said

And a money back guarantee

31

Protection

Why don’t you tell him what happened

He said

Instead of just writing it down

Because I don’t want him to know

She said

I couldn’t bear to see his frown

7

Self Talk

If I don’t talk about myself negatively

She said

Then I’ve got nothing much to say

Well perhaps I can try to help you

He said

See yourself in a different way

31

Personality #3

I see you there

With your vacant stare

Drowning in infinite sadness

But never fear

I’ll alway be here

Trying to sweep away your madness

11

After The Exorcism

Things should be better now

He said

They certainly shouldn’t be worse

I really hope so

She said

For I can’t live with this curse

0

The Old Crone

Please

She said

Pay me no mind

And try not think of me unkind

For I am

She said

To madness inclined

And peace I can no longer find

22

The Fallacy of Pharma

They promised I’d feel better by now

That these pills would have kicked in

Well they fucking lied

As my brain is still fried

And my heart belongs in the bin

22

If Mirrors Could Talk

Tell yourself you’re moving on

And they might just start

To believe it

But you and I know

This is all just for show

As you’re still drowning

In shit

7

Sad Songs

I play them too often nowadays

Just to feel the pain

It’s better then feeling nothing

Again and again and again…

16

Dazed And Confused

It was the best day

When we met

The worst when

You walked away

But what hurts the most

Is I was far too morose

For you to want to stay

20

Sliding Doors

There will be someone out there

He said

That will be the one for you

What if he’s already gone

She said

I don’t believe there can be two

4

Progress

I cry a lot more now

Even at the silliest thing

My therapist says it’s better

Than trying to keep it all in

22

If You Like

Stitch my wounds, if you like
I want to feel the pain
Don't call me a silly girl
For I'll only do it again

Ask me why, if you like
But you will never understand
The need, the comfort, the urgency
Those scissors close at hand

Leave me here, if you like
Walk away if you dare
Just remember I never asked for your help
Or your tender loving care

Forget I exist, if you like
It will not bother me one bit
For I'll always have my trusty blade
And carry my own first aid kit

(Originally Posted 08.04.2019)
4

The Faceless Female

She’s back again,
the little control freak,
whispering from my shoulder.

She never really goes away,
despite my efforts to brush her aside
or however much I grow older.

I’ve never once turned to look
at her whilst I try hard to
drown out her speech.

But I never forget
she’s there, berating me,
and bleeding me like a leech.

(Originally Posted 04.08.2019)

17

The Noose Tightens

Today has
been like
scratching
a brick wall

I didn’t
see this
one coming
at all

Everything
I’ve done
has made me
feel worse

I cannot
shrug this
nightmarish
curse

It feels
ridiculously
melodramatic
to say

But I
really don’t
think there’s
another way

All that
appeals
to me now
is that rope

As finally
it seems I’ve
abandoned
all hope

(Originally Posted 21.08.2019)

24

The Hangman

I really
try my
best to
cope and
not just
sit around
and mope
but as
time moves
on I
know there’s
no hope
I can
forget the
past and
avoid the
rope that
silently
whispers my
name

(Originally Posted 02.07.2019)

12

Finally

I wonder what you’ll all say,

When I finally go away.

I wonder what you’ll all think,

When off into the shadows I slink.

I wonder if you’ll all stop and stare,

When you finally realise I’m no longer there.

(Originally Posted 25.06.2019)

13

Another Wasted Day

It’s four twenty five in the afternoon and I’m still lying in bed.

Trying, in vain, to sleep away the thoughts inside my head.

Perhaps I should get up and go out for a bracing walk instead.

It has to be better than staying in here and wishing I was dead.

(Originally Posted 22.06.2019)

12

This Silent War

I’m trapped inside this silent war

Furiously waving a white flag above my head

But no one seems to care

One day soon

I’ll stop trying

(Originally Posted 14.04.2019)

7

Next (1)

At this point I just want to feel

It matters not what or who

But this world has lost its appeal

So what is a girl to do?

12

Tiredness

I already want to go back to sleep

And I haven’t even woken up yet

(Originally Posted 08.04.2019)

8

The Mirror

Hair crunchy like straw
Brain burst with chaos
Eyes darkened shadows
Arteries slick with grease
Lips rough as sandpaper
Cheeks stained with tears
Skin cracked and weeping
Forearms heavily scarred
Liver soaked with alcohol
Heart cold as granite

I hate looking in the mirror
For I do not like what I see
I shall stop looking in the mirror
For I do not like me

(Originally Posted 05.04.2019)

24

Random #18

‘You could have achieved so much more, if you weren’t so fucking insecure’

– Me

(Originally Posted 19.07.2019)

10

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