"All my life's buried here, heap earth upon it"
I wouldn’t worry too much
He said
Not everything can be a hit
I’m still amazed that anything I write
She said
Doesn’t always turn out this shit
Old Hat
You’ve
been
on my
mind
today
More
than
any
other
time
If only
it had
inspired
something
epic
Rather
than this
fucking
awful
rhyme
(Originally Posted 21.08.2020)
I found her poems
In a cupboard at school
Back when I was young
I realised then
That I’d found a friend
And so to that book I’ve clung
https://poetryarchive.org/poet/stevie-smith/
Dear Stevie
If we
could
meet
We’d
drink
a brew
And
maybe
share
A
laugh
or two
Yet we
would
know
At the
end of
the day
What
connects
us both
Is
life’s
decay
(Originally Posted 20.08.2020)
“If you don’t have anything nice to say,
Then don’t say anything at all.”
So I didn’t.
Just An Empty Space
(Originally Posted 20.08.2019)
Yet I didn’t slip away
Quietly
I remained
And caused a fuss
I got my head down
And stuck around
To tell the story
Of us
‘Slip Away, Quietly’
All
happiness
is fleeting
All
sadness
is depleting
I am
no longer
competing
As from
sanity
I am
retreating
(Originally Posted 14.08.2019)
I must’ve overdone the happy pills
When I wrote this one
As I can’t believe
I’d ever conceive
Of something like this with none
Hard To Believe
When you find
It’s a struggle to cope
When it feels
Like you’ve lost all hope
Remember and try
To just hold on
For there will be
Better days to come
(Originally Posted 13.08.2021)
Jesus.
I even depress myself sometimes,
So fuck knows how you feel.
Wallowing
I
could
lie
here
and
fade
away
I’m
neither
here
nor
there
Not
that
I expect
you
would
notice
Or
even
that
you’d
care
(Originally Posted 06.08.2020)
It may well surprise you to know
I write most poems in under a minute
Especially each one of those
With a shitload of swear words in it
Catharsis
I
really
only
write
the
words
That
everyone
else is
thinking
I
just
say
what
comes
naturally
And
without
even
flinching
(Originally Posted 03.08.2020)
Some have come and gone
Over the years
But I thank each and every one
Who helped dry my tears
Connections
It’s easier to connect with other writers these days, than it is to any of my friends.
It’s because we understand how shit things are, I think, when the madness descends.
(Originally Posted 24.07.2019)
You said you’d had enough
Back then
That you’d heard it all before
But I always knew
With these words I spew
You’d keep coming back for more
With A Wink
You
really
are
He
said
Without
doubt
The
most
depressing
woman
I’ve
met
Really
She
said
That
is a
shame
As
you
ain’t
seen
nothing
yet
(Originally Posted 23.07.2020)
I often wonder
Reading back
Just who these people are
As their conversations
And confrontations
Make up some of my best work by far
Help Me
I never used to be like this
She said
I actually used to be brave
What was it that happened to you
He asked
So much so that you would cave
The world happened
She replied
But you wouldn’t understand
Why don’t you try me
He implored
As he reached for her hand
(Originally Posted 19.07.2019)
It’s like reading
Someone else’s words
Lines
From a different story
But the heartache and pain
Mine they’ll always remain
So for those, I will take the glory
Poems From Another Time
It’s like reading
Someone else’s words
Listening
To someone else’s story
But the heartache
And the pain
That’s still all mine
(Originally Posted 18.07.2021)
Sometimes
When you’re trying to rhyme
You hit on something
Quite profound
I’m pretty sure
This was one of those
Where I cracked it
First time ’round
(Prick)ly
Not
the
best
at
being
loved
But
pretty
good
at
loving
Not
the
best
at
being
pushed
But
pretty
good
at
shoving
(Originally Posted 16.07.2020)
Sometimes I
Have nothing to add
No further words
Or updates
This is one
Of those times,
I think,
As when I read this
My heart breaks
Leftovers
A weak and weary
confused mind
An empty and
hollow heart
As bleak as it is,
it is all I have
As my life has
fallen apart
(Originally Posted 13.07.2019)
This could well be the inception
Of all those he said/she said pieces
And due to its reception
They’re now part of my ongoing thesis
The Deep
Do you think
we’ll make it
out alive,
she said,
hoping for
the truth.
I’m sure that
we’ll be fine,
he said,
with the
naivety
of youth.
(Originally Posted 08.07.2019)
To anyone who has ever read
Liked, shared, or commented
You’ve helped more
Than you could know
Without your engagement
There’d be complete derangement
And I’d have ended things
Long ago
Futile
Sometimes,
I depress
myself
As my
thoughts
fill the
page
Why
am I
here
Wasting
everyone’s
time
Hoping
for
someone
to engage
(Originally Posted 06.07.2020)
It’s great you have a hobby
He said
Not one I share, I confess
Because writing isn’t a hobby
She said
It’s a matter of life or death
Vocabularians Of The World Unite
Vocabularians of the world unite
To put the wrongs of our world right
To give a voice to those too tired to fight
And into the darkness bring forth the light
(Originally Posted 18.06.2020)
I think I was once preoccupied
With being considered a ‘proper poet’
But I’ve since come to realise
That my style doesn’t trivialise
Life or how I choose to show it
Bottom Of The Class
I
scroll
through
your words
And
realise
mine don’t
compare
For
you all
write so
beautifully
Whereas
I splurge
without
a care
(Originally Posted 14.06.2020)
I’m
glad
I don’t
give
much
away
As if
I did,
you’d
never
come
back
Self Esteem
There’s
nothing
more
disheartening
That
brings
me
consternation
and
strife
Than
to find
I’m
more
captivating
On
the
page
Than
I could
ever be
in real life
(Originally Posted 07.06.2020)
Seventy three thousand words now
And I haven’t improved very much
It’s a good job those who read me
Aren’t ones too quick to judge
You’re Too Kind
Thirty
six
thousand
words
And
each
one of
them
shite
But now
I’ve
passed
one
thousand
followers
I
must
be doing
something
right
(Originally Posted 27.05.2020)
I was obviously aiming
For something highbrow
Yet I fear this one
Misses the mark somehow
I’ve gotten better, I hope,
And developed this skill
So these words I can now
Consign to landfill
Underground
As
sinister
shadows
loom,
I
see
my
tomb.
Through
the
gloom,
my
dreams
resume.
(Originally Posted 20.05.2019)
Can’t you change things up
He said
All you do is bitch and whine
I honestly would if I could
She said
As I bore myself half the time
Myself
Why can’t I trust myself,
like I trusted you?
Why can’t I protect myself,
like I protected you?
Why can’t I love myself,
like I loved you?
Why?
(Originally Posted 19.05.2019)
My only haiku
A skill I do not possess
Best not try again
Searching For A Haiku
Out walking alone
Serotonin in winter
Remains elusive
(Originally Posted 17.05.2021)
Nearly two and a half
Thousand posts
And yet I can still
Surprise myself
Perhaps poetry
Is my future, actually,
So I shouldn’t just leave it
On the shelf
Circling
Like
vultures
Eyeing up
the bones
Of those who
went before us
Now rotting
on the stones
(Originally Posted 14.05.2020)
I can tell
That there are posts
I’ve written to please
An audience
But there are a few
That make me freeze
As the pain I was in
Is obvious
It’s The Small Things That Hurt The Most
How long does it take
To reach for one mug
Or only set out one plate
To programme the heating
To click on at six
Instead of doing it myself at eight
To only buy
One pint of milk
Or get one lottery ticket
To stop saying hello
As I enter the house
Because you
Are no longer in it
(Originally Posted 14.05.2020)
I have been here
Just over three years
With 2,500 posts to boot
So if you still don’t know
To expect a shit show
Then there’s nothing else I can do
Brutal Is My Middle Name
And honest
Is my first
Do not bother
Reading on
Without expecting
The worst
(Originally Posted 01.05.2020)
Perhaps
I’m not so bad
At this poetry lark
After all
Interlude
Time has dragged on today
Even more than most
It started off quite well too
Sitting down with tea and toast
But then the clock seemed to stop
At some point this afternoon
When opening up my laptop
Did nothing to lift the gloom
And as the evening drew itself in
I have sat here all alone
Thouroughly bored in my own skin
Barely stifling a groan
So now I guess I’ll go to bed
And lie there on my own
Until the clock stops in my head
And I dream in monochrome
(Originally Posted 20.04.2020)
Although there is
A lot to be said
For these stream of consciousness pieces
There is a case to be made
For punctuation
As the ability to breathe decreases
Haste Ye Back
Something tells me this won’t be our last as you realise you want me and return so fast to where my arms do so openly await as we slowly allow that twist of fate to keep us ensconced together forever come hell or high water whatever the weather as the love we make is all we need for our hearts to open and minds to be freed
(Originally Posted 19.04.2020)
Two cunts so far this week
Is perhaps a bit of a worry
I really don’t see me
Winning prizes for poetry
In any kind of a fucking hurry
Disdain
It would have been quite easy
Had you wanted to commit
To just imagine for a second
What it’s like to go through with it
But in the end you chose not to
Which leads me to be blunt
Because of the things you did not do
You really are a cunt
(Originally Posted 13.04.2020)
It only took seconds
To write this one
And really, I should have binned it
Now it’s a lesson
That it’s not all progression
And sometimes, it’s better to edit
Success
Live, laugh, love
Comes the wisdom from above
Stop, sob, spite
Is what gets me through the night
(Originally Posted 13.04.2019)
This was the first of many like this
She said
Although they became much more refined
I’m just waiting for the day
He said
Where our roles are more clearly defined
He Said/She Said
One day
You might be somebody’s something
He said
But today
I am nobody’s nothing
She said
One day
Somebody might love you
He said
But today
Nobody does
She said
(Originally Posted 07.04.2019)
This seems to have served you well
He said
With plenty of folks who enjoy reading
I never thought I’d get this far
She said
Let alone that I’d be succeeding
Talentless
I wish I could
take your plaudit
But I just write
what comes to me
My inability
to self edit
Laid bare for
all to see
(Originally Posted 05.04.2020)
I can be quite poetic,
It seems
When I put my mind to it
This one serving to remind me
It doesn’t always need
To be ‘fuck’ and ‘shit’
The Birds
Looking up to the sky
This foreboding feeling grows
As I see the unkindness of ravens
And hear the murder of crows
(Originally Posted 31.03.2021)
I have never set out
To offend
To hurt,
Or cause anyone displeasure
But I do understand
The words from my hand
Are too heavy for some to treasure
Dear Reader
Sometimes
my words
are so
savage
I even
surprise
myself
It’s like
the page
I must
ravage
With no
care at
all for
yourself
(Originally Posted 21.03.2020)
I am still amazed
To this day
That anyone continues reading
Who knew there could be
Such a community
For those with hearts that are bleeding
Nobody’s Hero
Please
take no
notice
of me
For I’m
as fucked
as anyone
can be
So don’t
let what
I write
enthrall
As they
are just
words,
after all
(Originally Posted 16.03.2020)
Indeed she did
And she did it well
Or so some people said
Yet somehow now
Three years on
She’s still fucked in the head
The Beginning
‘Don’t be afraid to start poorly’
The kind man wrote
‘I will try’
The sad woman replied
And she did
(Originally Posted 01.03.2019)
I’ll be going on a journey
Down my very own memory lane
Back to the start of my WordPress life
To the advent of my pain
So please forgive me if you find
You are reading some posts again
But I feel the need to relive
Both the madness and the sane
It’s not that I’m leaving forever
I promise I’ll still be around
But the desire to fight
Let alone to write
Is proving too thin on the ground
That’s it all done now
There’ll be no more
Or no less
Thank you for living
Through this with me
And not minding all the mess
What can you do
When the words won’t flow
When you have exhausted
Every topic you know
Perhaps all there is
Is to put down the pen
And hope that one day
You’ll be hurt again
Testing, testing one two three
Now I’ve changed domain names
Can you still see me?
What do you do?
I write poetry.
Pretty ones? With hearts and flowers?
No. The truth.
I can’t think of another ditty
Or come up with a different rhyme
Not when what I write is so shitty
More than half of the time
You promised
That you’d help
But instead
You made it worse
Now I’ve got
Nothing left
Not even
A decent verse
Full of bleeding heart
That’s me
Slowly dying
For all to see
Hoping for words
To set the world alight
As I scribble away
In the dead of night
I don’t agree
With what you write
But I respect your right
To post it
Just don’t expect
That I won’t interject
Or in my own words
Oppose it
I knew from the beginning
He said
Within you there was a spark
Writing is now a passion
She said
With misery my trademark
For someone who doesn’t care
You sure do talk a lot
52,806 words
Who knew death could be so productive?
I’m finally closing the curtains
In the windows of my mind
Another bleeding heart
With wisdom left to impart
You will have to find
I’m not sure anyone cares
Let alone if anyone reads
Surely there’s better things to do
Than to wade between my weeds
This is
My last post
Everything
Has been written
All sides
Of this cherry
Are now
Thoroughly bitten
So I’ve recorded some of my poems
And I don’t think they’re half bad
Who knew that in speaking
There’s so much fun to be had
But now I’m in a conundrum
As I need to make a choice
Do I stay safely anonymous
Or finally reveal my voice?
I know it’s not
For the faint of heart
But it helps me
Every day
So just deal with it
Or not
As I’m not arsed
Either way
I prefer the night
To the day
The world, on the whole, is quieter
This way
So today marks the beginning
Of WordPress year three
Happy two year anniversary to me
Quite a lot has changed
Since that first post
Not least the number of people
Seemingly engrossed
In reading my innermost thoughts and feelings
Which I admit even now
I have a hard time believing
For there are far more talented writers here than me
Whose focus isn’t madness, sadness or profanity
Yet as I’ve looked back over posts of the past
I see my words gradually getting lighter
Perhaps this is due, in part,
To my life being that little bit brighter
So, I hear you ask, will my future posts just become asinine?
Well, I suppose, your guess is as good as mine
But one things for sure
You’ll still find me here beneath the armour
Writing, posting and chatting
As your ever grateful Little Charmer
I try to write but the words fail.
Sit, think, smoke, exhale.
As I reach for the coffee cup,
I wonder if my time is up.
Have I forgotten you,
Is that what this is?
The reason I can no longer write this shit?
Or could it be this depression is finally lifting?
Maybe the all encompassing darkness is shifting?
Perhaps after all this time my heart is mended.
And my love affair with words has ended.
(Originally Posted 11.08.2019)
Nothing lasts
Forever
You know
Not you
Not me
And certainly not my poetry
So I’ve opened up an Insta
After discussion with some friends
As not only am I interested
In the efforts others have invested
But also who might slide into my DM’s
😉
It's only when you have nothing
That you realise words are everything
Words make your mind break
Words make your soul ache
Words incite you to roar
Words inspire you to soar
It's only when you have nothing
That you realise words are everything
I have nothing
But my words
(Originally Posted 16.03.2019)
I've tried to write about happy things
But the words don't seem to flow
Perhaps I've forgotten happy things
And sadness is all I know
(Originally Posted 03.04.2019)
Ramblings Of A Fragile Mind 
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