Was It Good For You?

If
I ask
you a
question

He
said

Do you
promise
to tell
the truth?

Yes

She
lied

Does My Bum Look Big In This?

If
I ask
you a
question

She
said

Do you
promise
to tell
the truth?

Yes

He
lied

(Originally Posted 13.06.2020)

18

Setting The Alarm

I remember feeling like this

Every day back then

When it would take everything I had

To get up and do it again

Although now I find it easier

With most mornings not as hard

I’d be lying if I didn’t say

Sometimes I’m still caught off guard

5am

Stomach lurching,
Bones aching,
Head pounding,
Heart breaking,

Waking up is never easy.

(Originally Posted 13.06.2019)

0

Empty Handed

As
I lie
here

Alone
again

I can
only
assume

I
wasn’t

Bounty

I
can
only
hope

I’m
worth
the
wait

(Originally Posted 12.06.2020)

4

Rattling

Hoping this pill proves fruitful

That it will work as designed

So I swallow another scoopful

To quiet the chaos in my mind

Five A Day

An
apple
a day
may
keep
the
doctor
away.

But
it’s a
pill
at night
that makes
me feel
alright.

(Originally Posted 12.06.2019)

8

Copycat

She taught me everything I know

Both for the good and for the bad

Still, I cannot help but love her

As she’s the only mother I’ll have

Nature Vs Nurture

The
packet
cracks

As
the
tablet
snaps

And I
glug it
down
with
water

My
body
contracts

As
I face
the
facts

That
I am my
mother’s
daughter

(Originally Posted 11.06.2020)

9

Light At The End Of The Tunnel

Darkest thoughts

On my darkest day

I can but hope

The worst is away

Found

Hearing
how
sad
you
would
be

Doesn’t
make
me
change
my
mind

All
it
does
is
remind
me
to
choose

A
method
that
is
kind

(Originally Posted 11.06.2020)

8

Random #210

‘If this world is wearing thin
And you’re thinking of escape
I’ll go anywhere with you
Just wrap me up in chains
But if you try to go alone
Don’t think I’ll understand…’

6

Random #209

‘Why are you so sarcastic all the time?’

‘Cause it stops me killing people – including myself’

– Tony

2

An Endless Cycle

I thought about you today.

Twice.

The first, when I sat and re-read this poem.

The second, when I tried to write a response.

It was only then I realised it has been nine hundred and twenty two days since you died.

And I remembered not just what I lost that day, but how much it still hurts now.

And I cried again today.

Twice.

The Corner of My Eye

I thought I saw you today.

Twice.

The first, when you were waiting to cross the road.

The second, when you were ahead of me in the queue at the post office.

It was only when you turned around, and I saw your face, that I realised it wasn’t you.

And I remembered, with a desperate ache, why it could never be you.

And I cried again today.

Twice.

(Originally Posted 10.06.2019)

6

Interred

If only it was

An abyss we shared

Rather than you long gone

And me ill-prepared

Captives

Was it you

Or was it me

Who soldiered on

Too blind to see

It was always destined

To end like this

With both of us falling

Into the abyss

(Originally Posted 10.06.2021)

0

A Martian Named Smith

Not only did I steal

An LP that night

But I also pilfered

A book

I’d always believed

Sci-fi wasn’t for me

But I’m so glad

He allowed me look

Squeeze

Such
a broken
heartened
man

In a
broken
hearted
land

If
only
I could
see you

I
would
squeeze
your
hand

And
never
let it
go

(Originally Posted 09.06.2020)

14

Died

And
then

He
did

Duped

You
must
never
leave
me

She
said

For
I
would
fall
apart

I’ll
stay
with
you
forever

He
said

I could
never
break
your
heart

(Originally Posted 08.06.2020)

6

Told You

I bumped into her

The other day

And it seems my prediction

Was right

As from what she said

He was so shit in bed

They didn’t even last

The night

Love’s Young Dream

Dance, you fools, dance

Dance far away from me

For I’ve seen all of the romance

That I need to see

I know only too well

How all this bullshit ends

Give it a year,

Maybe two,

And you won’t even be friends

(Originally Posted 08.06.2020)

2

Something Changed

Surely you must have known

He said

Not to fall in love with me

I just didn’t expect

She said

That it would happen so easily

I Love You

If I met you again,
For the first time,
I wouldn’t change a thing.

I’d do it all again,
Exactly the same,
Taking you under my wing.

But I should have,
if I could have,
told you that
I loved you
more.

Perhaps then
my life now
wouldn’t be
so difficult
to endure.

(Originally Posted 08.06.2019)

0

Persona(l)

I’m
glad
I don’t
give
much
away

As if
I did,
you’d
never
come
back

Self Esteem

There’s
nothing
more
disheartening

That
brings
me
consternation
and
strife

Than
to find
I’m
more
captivating

On
the
page

Than
I could
ever be
in real life

(Originally Posted 07.06.2020)

7

Man-Made

I should try to be considerate

And care about people more

Yet anything but belligerence,

It seems,

I was not pre-programmed for

I, Robot

The kindness of others never ceases to amaze me…

Although my inability to replicate it does.

(Originally Posted 07.06.2019)

8

The Songs That Saved My Life

You were all I had

When he died

And I didn’t know how to cope

I was driven mad

Each time I cried

And you were my only hope

‘The Boy’s No Good… ‘

As
I sit
and
listen

To each
word you
say

All
of my
pain

Simply
ebbs
away

(Originally Posted 06.06.2020)

10

Larkin Had It Right

If I’d had a decent role model

Maybe I’d know what to do

But as my childhood was a debacle

I’ve got nothing to compare this to

The Reverse

I’ve never felt happiness,
I don’t know what it is.

I’ve never even seen happiness,
But I’m pretty sure it’s not this.

(Originally Posted 06.06.2019)

2

And It Rhymes With Hunt

I was trying to be polite back then

By calling you a ‘loathsome swine’

But since I have reflected

Something more apt springs to mind

(Never) Ending Hostilities

Whoever
told
me to
forgive
you was
wrong

There’s
no way
we can
ever
get
along

For
you
are
just a
loathsome
swine

Who
isn’t
a worth
second
of my
time

(Originally Posted 05.06.2020)

11

The Transaction (Re-Written)

Give it to me good, baby

Treat me a little rough

I really will not mind

If you talk a little tough

Squeeze me too tightly, baby

Pinch me pretty hard

You can do ‘most anything

Just please don’t leave me scarred

The Transaction

Give it to me hard

Give it to me rough

I honestly won’t mind

If you act a little tough

Squeeze me a little too tightly

Pinch me a little too hard

I just want to feel something

That doesn’t leave me scarred

(Originally Posted 05.06.2020)

11

That It Comes To This

No one talks about you

Anymore

It’s like you were never here

And for that

I’ll never forgive them

On all that I hold dear

Commitment

You were
always so
terrified
that I
would leave.

When,
after all
was said
and done,
I was the
only one
who stayed.

(Originally Posted 05.06.2019)

4

I Tried My Best

To
patch
it up

But
alas
it seems

I was
out of
luck

The Life Raft

Full
of
holes

As
it
rocks

Against
the
shoals

(Originally Posted 04.06.2020)

5

Tickets Please

I wrote this one

On a train

Unhappy with life

Once again

Insides

Another grey sky.
Another bleak landscape.
Another version of me.
Looking out,
Looking in.

(Originally Posted 04.06.2019)

3

Hands Up

I win

You lose

Now it’s you

Who’ll fucking bruise

Hands Down

You
win

I
lose

Ain’t
that

The
fucking
truth

(Originally Posted 03.06.2020)

0

‘Looks Like We Made It…’

Can we stop running now

She said

And make our new home here

This will do just fine

He said

Now let’s open that beer

Nirvana

Are
we
here
now

She
said

Away
from
all
that
shit?

I am
not too
sure

He
said

Let’s
make
a run
for it

(Originally Posted 03.06.2020)

5

Same Shit Different Day

I travelled a lot that spring

Most of it in a daze

Birthdays, weddings and weekends away

All came and went in a haze

Yet I found consequently

Whatever good time I was shown

I would feel subsequently

That I was very much alone

1000 Miles

The message from the search engine pings.

Its spies inform me that last month I visited:

Three different countries,
Fifteen different cities,
And twenty one different places.

That means I travelled over 1000 miles, last month.

Each one without you.

And every one with an empty heart.

(Originally Posted 03.06.2019)

10

‘The Voice Inside My Head’

Whatever you say

Won’t hurt me

For when it comes

To my mental health

There is nothing that

I am better at

Than flagellating

Myself

Plus Ça Change

So
this
is
it

Lying
in bed
all day
again

Wine
and
cigarettes
my only
friend

I’m so
bored
of this
shit

I
could
make
myself
sick

I
really
am
nothing

But a
nauseating
prick

(Originally Posted 02.06.2020)

8

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