I reach
for his
hand
Every
day
But
nothing
makes
The
pain
go away
That
It’s
just not
right
That you
won’t be
here when
I look
tonight
It’s
just not
fair
That I’ll
reach for
your hand
and it won’t
be there
(Originally Posted 07.09.2019)
#25 The Conductor
I wrote this one
On a train
Making my way
Back home again
I remember she asked me
Why it was I cried
‘Because he’s dead’
I replied
The Removal Van
All
my dreams
are dead.
All that’s left
is this room
inside my head,
Where you
once lived.
I wish
you’d move
back in.
(Originally Posted 07.09.2019)
Delaying The Inevitable
No more for me
He said
That was the wife on the phone
I think that I’ll stay out
She said
As there’s no one for me at home
Temptress
We
really
shouldn’t
do this
She
said
If it’s
something
you’ll
regret
I won’t
know
until
we’re
done
He
said
And I
haven’t
started
yet
(Originally Posted 06.09.2020)
‘Til Death Us Do Part
Nineteen years of ups and downs
Of keeping the wolves at bay
But looking back now
We always got through, somehow
Doing things our own way
A Living Hell
Damned am I
who has been
torn in two
Damned am I
who fell in
love with you
(Originally Posted 06.09.2019)
The Black Baccara
It can be hard to stop
And smell the roses
When you’d rather
Be six feet under them
The Black Dog
When I heard
the black dog
barking outside
I knew I had
nowhere left
to hide
When I heard
the black dog
at my door
I knew I didn’t
have the strength
to fight anymore
Now I hear
the black dog
on my shoulder
And all I feel
is relief
that it’s over
(Originally Posted 06.09.2019)
A Poor Substitute
I made one into a pillow
To keep with me in bed
But there’s no point in denying
I’ve spent many a night crying
Wishing it was you instead
Your Shirt
I still have it.
Your shirt.
I can feel it.
I can smell it.
I just wish you were still here.
Wearing it.
(Originally Posted 06.09.2019)
Time Off
It takes me by surprise
Every year
If I can just yet through that day,
I think,
Then everthing will be ok
But it’s not
A Hard Week
Now that
the darkness
has descended
All my
happiness
has ended
Deep into
my soul
I have delved
And all
future plans
I have shelved
(Originally Posted 06.09.2019
Stuck
I know it comes evey year
Yet I’m still no more prepared
As much as I try
I’m still left high and dry
With any chance to move on impaired
That Day
I’m scared
of what
that day
will bring,
As I
know it’s
approaching
fast.
Even if
it’s the
start of
my future,
There’s no
way of
forgetting
my past.
(Originally Posted 05.09.2019)
Bien Sûr
Well you certainly seem happier
He said
This is the busiest I think you’ve been
I’ve always done my best work
She said
When fuelled by carbs and caffeine
Auberge de Lanouaille
You
should
use
this
time
to
think
He
said
About
what
it is
you
want
Only
if you
bring
me
coffee
She
said
And
a hot
buttered
croissant
(Originally Posted 05.09.2020)
Peacetime
None of us won the battle
And certainly not the war
But my conscience has been
Squeaky fucking clean
Since showing you all the door
Acrimony
Whilst
trying
to fix
this
unconscionable
mess,
I’ve
realised
it’s all
fucking
pointless,
anyway.
Nobody wins.
(Originally Posted 05.09.2019)
Uninstalled
I knew you were only sending it
As you still wanted to scrap
So just to make sure
You got nothing more
I simply deleted the app
Digital Olive Branch
You can request
my friendship
all you like
But it’ll
never be
accepted
You can send,
send and
send it again
But it’ll
always be
rejected
(Originally Posted 05.09.2019)
Dull As Dishwater
It matters not
How I seem
Through these words
I’ve penned
For if we were to ever
Meet in person
You’d be disappointed
In the end
Telling Tales
Why don’t you
stay here
a while,
he said,
and have
a cup
of tea
But I don’t
understand,
she said,
why would
you want
to talk
to me?
You’ve got
a tale to
tell, he said,
and I’d
like to
find out
more
Well you’ll
be sad
to realise,
she said,
that I’m
nothing
but a bore
(Originally Posted 04.09.2019)
Your Butterfly, Madame…
It’s better to have loved and lost
Than to never have loved at all
And it’s better to hide the knives,
I find,
To protect your abdominal wall
The Dagger
At
least
I don’t
feel pain
anymore
As my
insides
spill
to the
floor
(Originally Posted 04.09.2020)
‘Tonight Has Taught Me Something’
Having spent another day
Putting my body through the mill
It couldn’t be more clear to me
That sleeping is a skill
Sleep Is Futile
What’s the
point in
going to bed
With all
this shit
inside my head
It’s not
like I’ll be
allowed to rest
With this
sickness deep
inside my chest
(Originally Posted 04.09.2019)
You Know Who Are (Part 3)
Looking back, it seems, that last year
I afforded you a reprieve
But make no mistake
Just ’cause I took a break
You’ve still got plenty of insults to recieve
You Know Who You Are (Part 2)
You
really
are
such a
prick
I don’t
know
how you
can show
your face
That
you think
this can
be fixed
so quickly
Is an
absolute
fucking
disgrace
(Originally Posted 03.09.2020)
You Know Who You Are (Part 1)
You
are
such
an
unbelievable
cunt
Your
behaviour
has
been
just
vile
I
wish
you
nothing
but
unhappiness
And
a
life
forever
spent in
exile
(Originally Posted 03.09.2019)
And Lots Of It
If love was all you needed
Then we’d all be happy as fuck
So it’s about time that we conceded
What you actually need is luck
Nowhere Near
I love you
You love me
If only that was enough
For us to be happy
(Originally Posted 03.09.2019)
Better This Way
I’m glad that you agree
She said
It’s most definitely for the best
They’d never forgive us anyway
He said
If we ever confessed
In Another Life, Perhaps
What
happened
the other
night
She
said
Must
never
happen
again
It
pains me
so much
to say it
He
said
But
we’re
better off
as friends
(Originally Posted 03.09.2020)
The Cost Of Living
I went back to work too early
Of that I have no doubt
But with bills to pay
Much to my dismay
I had no choice but to force myself out
Tuesday
I called in sick for work today.
My heart just couldn’t come out to play.
All I’ve done is lie in bed
Filled with thoughts of fear and dread.
With nausea consuming every movement,
My mood shows no sign of improvement.
I hate existing like this.
Full of anger, self loathing and all that shit.
I wonder how much more I can conceal
Before I decide to end it for real
(Originally Posted 03.09.2019)
Novelty Keyrings
My friend had one
Etched with that quote
Back when I was a kid
I’m not sure if
She ever believed it
Half as much as I did
Cinderella, I Am Not
There’s no such
thing as happily
ever after
There is only
heartbreak
and disaster
What you see
in their films
is a lie
As life’s a
bitch and
then you die
(Originally Posted 02.09.2019)
Yet Another Let Down
He wasn’t.
In fact, they never are.
Forever
My happiness
is fleeting,
she said,
but my pain
is forever
I cannot help
repeating,
he said,
that I’m here
for you whatever
(Originally Posted 02.09.2019)
Bonne Idée
It would’ve been all too easy
To enact the ultimate ‘au revoir’
So just in case I was tempted
I made sure to sell my car
#8 The Optimist
This is
A message
From your favourite
Depressive
To say all
Is well with me
Here’s hoping
It lasts
That those days
Have passed
And I don’t drive
Into a tree
(Originally Posted 02.09.2021)
On Deaf Ears
I couldn’t begin tell you
How true this one still is
As even now I spend each morning
Screaming into the abyss
#7 The Banshee
After all the wailing
And gnashing of teeth
There’s no point in being violent
From now on
With my spirit long gone
All my screams will be silent
(Originally Posted 02.09.2021)
Different For Us All
Now I don’t bother
With feelings at all
They wouldn’t get it
Even if I tried
No one cares
As it was my man,
Not theirs,
Who so unexpectedly died
Locked Away
As the
chasm
between
us
Continues
to grow
It gets
harder
and
harder
My
feelings
to show
Xxx
(Originally Posted 01.09.2020)
True Story
I’ve written quite a few times
About the shit these tricksters say
But I cannot deny
Or explain why
She said what she did that day
The Psychic
She told me this would happen
When we met many moons ago
She knew you were in jeopardy
That you would reap what you sow
She sent an angel to watch over you
While I sat and took the piss
How I wish that I’d known then
It would all end like this
(Originally Posted 01.09.2019)
Here, Rub This
It seems her wish
Wasn’t his command
Nor was ensuring
Her needs were met
This became
Pretty obvious
When they went back
To bed
Three Wishes
She stops
and sighs
as he
implores
her to stay
But I don’t
think you can
help me,
she says,
turning away
He looks
and smiles
as he
reaches for
her hand
Just trust
me, he says,
your
wish is my
command
(Originally Posted 01.09.2019)
Death Hurts
This was so true
For much of that first year
In fact it’s only now
I have realised
How much his illness
And his death
Had left me
Paralysed
The Robbery
Your illness
robbed you
of your life
And it
robbed me
of my mind
Your death
still cuts me
like a knife
So now
to madness
I am inclined
(Originally Posted 01.09.2019)
The Sadness In My Soul
I wish I could update this one
Comment on how it has aged
Yet it seems that when
I pick up the pen
It’s only my tears that fill the page
I Hope So
Sing
to me
some
more
She
said
For
your
voice
I hold
so dear
I’ll
always
sing to
you
He
said
Even
when
I’m no
longer
here
Xxx
(Originally Posted 01.09.2020)
‘So We Go Inside And We Gravely Read The Stones…’
This is it
Where she now lies
The lonely widow
Who always cried
If only she
Had married again
Perhaps she may
Have forgotten her pain
Lovers Reunited
If I
can’t have
the one
that’s gone
then I’ll
just wait
out here,
alone,
until there’s
an end
to all
this pain
and our
hearts can
beat together
again
(Originally Posted 31.08.2019)
Lighting The Touchpaper (Part Four)
When
they
came
to take
me away
They
asked if
I had
anything
to say
And so
it was
the truth
I uttered
That you
never
knew
which
side
Your
bread
was
buttered
Lighting The Touchpaper (Part Three)
So
they
put
the
fire
out,
did
they?
All
blaring
sirens
and
flashes
Well
don’t
mind
me
As I
stand
here
with
glee
And
piss
upon
your
ashes
(Originally Posted 31.08.2019)
Lighting The Touchpaper (Part Two)
Now I
finally
know
the
truth
There
is no
turning
back
So
enjoy
the
burn
Motherfucker
Until
your
lips
turn
black
(Originally Posted 31.08.2019)
Lighting The Touchpaper (Part One)
Did
you
ever
love
me
Or
was
this
just
a joke?
I
need
to know
the
truth,
you see
Before
your
house
goes
up in
smoke
(Originally Posted 31.08.2020)
You Reap What You Sow
It was you
Who kicked
This hornet’s nest
So don’t cry
Now you’ve
Got stung
Radio Silence
It’s
not
that I’ll
never
call
you my
friend
It’s
just
that I’ll
never
call
you
again
(Originally Posted 31.08.2019)
Did You Spot It?
I pride myself on my titles
They’re often better than the rhyme
And this one here,
I have to say,
Is a particular favorite of mine
… – – – …
I
NEED
YOU
MORE
THAN
EVER
BEFORE
I
SIMPLY
CANNOT
DO
THIS
ANY
MORE
(Originally Posted 31.08.2019)
What A Waste
All those petty squabbles you had
The cold shoulders and silent treatment
They all come home to roost,
You know,
When you’re dealing with bereavement
Bedtime Bickering
And
you
accuse
me of
being
flirtatious?
When
your
behaviour
tonight
has been
outrageous!
(Originally Posted 30.08.2020)
Kill Me Now
I could very easily
Have left this job
Taken my life
In a different direction
But as I chose to stay
It’s yet another team day
Answering
This fucking inane question
Work
Well I
guess
there’s
nothing
else for it
Three hours
left wading
through
this
bullshit
Perhaps I
should
hand in
my notice
and quit
At least
then that
would be
the end
of it
(Originally Posted 30.08.2019)
Never A Truer Word Written
If I ever get round
To publishing that book
This will be the inscription
Not only does it sound
Like a pretty good hook
It’s also an accurate description
Last Year
It wasn’t
just the
end of us
It was
the end of
everything
Xxx
(Originally Posted 29.08.2019)
Absurd
No one would believe it
Not even wrapped up in a bow
Even those who trust
In reincarnation
Would find this one hard to swallow
Making (Sh)It Up
Who
could
believe
we’d
get
this
That
we’d
ever
again
share
a kiss
That
both
of our
hearts
a beat
would
miss
That
we’d be
together
bathed
in bliss
(Originally Posted 29.08.2020)
Especially At Work
I used to hide
So much back then
I’m amazed I got through the day
Reading this I remember
How exhausted I was
Pretending that I was okay
Secret Anxiety
Sickness grows
Frustration shows
Conversation slows
But no one knows
(Originally Posted 28.09.2019)
In Real Life (Or Death As The Case May Be)
If only if was like that
All sentimental and romantic
But believe you me,
In reality,
Death throes are far more frantic
9.15am
I
was
high
As
were
you
When
we said
goodbye
In the
morning
hue
(Originally Posted 28.08.2019)
*Grabs Coat*
Why don’t you come over
He said
It’s just me and a group of my friends
That’s very kind of you to offer
She said
I get so lonely at weekends
I’d Only Stand in the Kitchen Anyway…
For the third night in a row there are people having a party, somewhere, along my street.
I can hear them talking and laughing in their garden.
I can smell their cigarette smoke through my open window.
I can hear the rattle of beer bottles as they are thrown into the recycle bin.
Music blares away until the early hours.
I’m so jealous sitting here, miserable and alone, night after night.
I mean, I can be fun too you know.
Well, kind of.
(Originally Posted 28.08.2019)
Hamlet Is My Favorite, Obviously
Check me out
Getting all high brow
Quoting Shakespeare, no less
To help describe how
Hard it can be
When fighting off sadness
Even if there is method
In it’s madness
Shaking Spears
‘When sorrows come, they come not single spies, but in battalions ‘
‘Tell me about it, my friend, that’s why we fucking deserve medallions’
(Originally Posted 27.08.2020)
On Grief
People say things
Get better with time
Which may be their truth
But it isn’t mine
Not Long Now
Each day brings
Yet more false hope
Along with an another
Earth shattering new low
I really am just
Biding my time now
Waiting until
It’s my turn to go
(Originally Posted 27.08.2019)
A Tough Read
I really am quite thankful
I no longer feel like this
Even though day to day
Things aren’t always okay
At least I’ve stopped thinking that shit
Shotgun
At
this
point
I’ll
try
anything
She
said
It
can’t
do any
harm
Then
you
should
take
this
one
He
said
It’ll
work
like a
charm
(Originally Posted 27.08.2020)
Melting
Don’t get me wrong
It’ll take much more
Than just a smile
For my heart to thaw
But until such time
It doesn’t mean
That we can’t have fun
In between
Your Smile
Even
though
my
heart
Resides
in the
deep
freeze
Your
smile
has the
power
To make
me weak
at the
knees
(Originally Posted 27.08.2019)
Open To Interpretation
I’m not sure
If I meant this
In a playful way
Or not
Usually,
I would say I did
But back then
My humour
Was shot
Come Closer
I don’t bite.
Much.
(Originally Posted 27.08.2019)
‘Definitely Maybe’
Are you sure?
Yes
Honestly?
No
Certainty
Do you want to?
Yes.
Will we?
No.
(Originally Posted 26.08.2020)
‘And So The Conversation Turned’
You can deny it
All you want
Claim that you
Would never stray
But if I was to check
What’s on your neck
The truth would be plain as day
Love Bites
You
wore
your
roll
neck
jumper
So
you
thought
I wouldn’t
see
But
believe
me,
I know
full
well
Those
marks
weren’t
left
by me
(Originally Posted 26.08.2020)
‘One Day Goodbye Will Be Farewell’
It’s always the little things
That you miss
Like never leaving the house
Without a kiss
Goodbye
Be careful
when you
dismiss me
As one day
I won’t
come
back
(Originally Posted 26.08.2019)
Sticking To What I Know
Mostly I write poems
About depression, death and heartache
Yet sometimes I write poems, it seems,
Just for writing’s sake
This was one of those poems
Even now it doesn’t make much sense
Though I had just watched Braveheart (again)
If that’s any kind of defence
Masterplan
The
candle
grows
dimmer
As my
patience
wears
thinner
Whilst
I wait
for the
steel
to bolt
My
temper
a simmer
As
you
think
you’re
the
winner
Yet I
plan my
peasants’
revolt
(Originally Posted 25.08.2020)
I’d Have No Problem Saying It Now
Remember when you told me
It was the best show you’d ever seen
That you watched in tears
As your worst fears
Played out on the TV screen
Well, it wasn’t just a show for me
It was exactly how I felt
I lived through those scenes
On the silver screen
And dealt with it all myself
See, you never really understood
You made that abundantly clear
You didn’t sympathise
Let alone empathise
With me at any point that year
So now when I recall you saying
How you cried so selflessly
I know for a fact
It was all just an act
As you lied so effortlessly
What I Should Have Said
Get to fuck
You piece of shit
I will not stand
For any more pish
You think you’re it
But it’s just a front
You’re nothing more
Than a self serving cunt
(Originally Posted 25.08.2020)
Disappointing The Kid Inside
I must’ve overdosed on Disney
Or read too many fairy tales
For endings like this
Don’t actually exist
As true love always fails
Sleeping Beauty
I wish I could sleep forever
As silly as that seems
For then we’d be together
Happy, in my dreams
(Originally Posted 25.08.2021)
Let’s Go Back Again
What the fuck is wrong with us
Said the spider to the fly
Why can’t we just stay in one spot?
To be honest I just follow you
Said the fly to the spider
As you’re the only friend I’ve got
Let’s Go Back
This was the wrong choice
Said the spider to the fly
I think we should return
I suppose you’re right
Said the fly to the spider
When will we ever fucking learn?
(Originally Posted 25.08.2019)
Let’s Go
Fuck this shit
Said the spider to the fly
I really cannot be arsed
I agree entirely
Said the fly to the spider
I’m done with this bloody farce
(Originally Posted 25.08.2019)
Lockdown Suited Introverts
The covid pandemic
Was an awful time
We all lost blood,
Sweat and tears
But for some
The state sponsored
Avoidance of people
Was just a delight
To the ears
Hermitry
What if
I’m
enjoying
the new
normal
That
now I
finally
feel on
track
What
if I’d
like
to stay
this way
With
no
desire
to go
back
(Originally Posted 24.08.2020)
Q&A (cont)
Then you asked
If I got it back
Never
I replied
That was the day
When it all
Went black
And I was forever
Left dead inside
Q&A
You ask
What
I left
Behind
Nothing
I answer
Just
My mind
(Originally Posted 24.08.2020)
Together In Time
And so they sat,
Together in time,
Talking until dawn.
Not just did they speak,
Of their lives past,
But also of those to come.
Past Lives
I think I remember you,
she said,
I think we’ve met before.
Perhaps it was when I was young,
she said,
and before my heart was sore.
I don’t remember meeting,
he said,
although I really can’t be sure.
Why don’t you sit down now,
he said,
and talk to me some more.
(Originally Posted 24.08.2019)
Habit Of A Lifetime
Just stop this negative talk
He said
I won’t hear any more of it
But those seeds have been sown
She said
Ever since I was a kid
Sham(e)
I got
bored of
this shit
a long
time ago
These
endless
tales of
sadness
and woe
Now with
eyes that
burn from
the tears
that flow
I loathe
myself
more than
you’ll
ever know
(Originally Posted 23.08.2019)
A Repeat Performance
That being said
Given what happened in bed
One thing is certainly true
If I ever planned
To have a two night stand
It would most definitely be with you
In Beero Veritas
Who’d have thought
That we’d come to
Both half dead
And needing the loo
Perhaps we should
Have thought this through
Instead of getting drunk
And doing the do
(Originally Posted 23.08.2021)
Self Torture
Back then my head
Was in such a mess
I couldn’t even wish myself
A peaceful death
Out With A Bang
What is this
stabbing pain
in my chest?
Why is it
causing me
such unrest?
Fingers
crossed it’s
a heart attack
Then I
can leave
this place
And never
come back
(Originally Posted 23.08.2019)
‘The Sleeping Death’
Who am I trying to kid
She said
If anyone comes for me
It’ll be the evil queen
She said
With a poisoned apple or three
Kissing Frogs
I sit here on the sofa
All alone
With the hope of love
Completely gone
Yet I dare to dream
That perhaps one day
My prince will come
To kiss the pain away
(Originally Posted 23.08.2021)
‘Four Seasons In One Day’
I’ve always been indecisive
But now it’s worse than ever
The back and forth is so divisive
I’m about as reliable as the weather
Confusion
No!
No!
No!
Yes!
Yes!
Yes!
How am
I supposed
to decide
what to do
When my
head’s
in such
a mess?
(Originally Posted 22.08.2019)
The Promise That Can’t Be Kept
He knew right then
As he watched
The tear fall from her eye
It was best to forget
And to just let
His feelings for her die
Silent Conversations
Not yet
but soon
she says,
as she makes her
way to the door
But when,
how soon
he asks
as he stares
at the floor
Not yet
but soon
she says,
as her head
is slowly bowed
But when,
how soon
he asks
will we
be allowed?
(Originally Posted 22.08.2019)
Keeping It Brief
It’s been ages since I’ve seen you
She said
How are you doing my friend?
Oh, things are fine with me
She said
Not wishing to offend
Distraction
Maybe I could see a friend
Or give them a call instead
It must be better than wrestling
With these demons in my head
(Originally Posted 22.08.2021)
Ramblings Of A Fragile Mind 
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