With my self care
On the floor
The noose tightens
That little bit more
"All my life's buried here, heap earth upon it"
With my self care
On the floor
The noose tightens
That little bit more
My heart
belongs
to the
Highlands
Of
that
there
is no
doubt
I
pray
for
the
day
I
drive
all
that
way
And my
heart
just
gives
out
I know it’s there
In the shed
Waiting for when
I choose death instead
As my life passes me by
I lose the will to even try
So I raise my hands to the sky
And scream why me, you arsehole, why?
I really
cannot
wait to
driveAll
along
that
rugged
coastTo
settle
in those
mountainsAnd
mourn
who
I miss
the mostXxx
Pull down the stars
Put out the sun
I’ve had enough
You have won
Is
that
all
there
isFeeling
like
this
forever?Then
I’ll
just
bow
out
nowAnd
live
without
the
pressure
I
shouldn’t
need to
tell you
againYou
must
already
knowI
don’t
want to
be here
anymorePlease
just
let me
go
Full
of
holes
As
it
rocks
Against
the
shoals
What do I do
Now all hope is gone
And I am left here
On my own
Somehow still alive
But gasping for air
Unable to thrive
Yet unwilling to care
I’m
going
back
to bed
It’s
not
worth
staying
awake
From
these
thoughts
in my
head
I need a
fucking
break
Time
drags
on
With
impending
doom
As I
search for
a way
Out
of the
gloom
Still
here
tryingYet
always
cryingMind
constantly
vyingBetween
living
and dying
Hope.
The
ultimate
disappointment.
It can
be a
hard
lesson
to learnWhen
you’re
at the
point of
no returnThat
nobody
actually
gives
a shitWhether
you decide
to stay
or to
end it
Go on,
Keep crying.
It changes nothing.
It wasn’t
just the
end of us
It was
the end of
everything
Xxx
I got lost on my
eighth birthday.
Sometimes
I wonder
what would’ve
happened,
if I’d never
been found.
To carry
on living
is proving
too hardWith my mind
and my body
so irrevocably
scarred
Another grey sky.
Another bleak landscape.
Another version of me.
Looking out,
Looking in.