I’ve
never
thought
of myself
as strong
But I
suppose
I have
stuck
it out
this
long
Although
somewhat
broken,
bloodied
and
bruised
I’m
very
much
still
here
to light
the fuse
"All my life's buried here, heap earth upon it"
I’ve
never
thought
of myself
as strong
But I
suppose
I have
stuck
it out
this
long
Although
somewhat
broken,
bloodied
and
bruised
I’m
very
much
still
here
to light
the fuse
Please
give me
another
pill to
swallowFor I
don’t
want to
wake up
tomorrow
God
knows
why I
didn’t
wake up
dead
Or why
I didn’t
think
to plan
this far
ahead
My heart
has been
aching
all day
Nothing
has made
the pain
go away
Perhaps
this will
finally be
the end
And I’ll
no longer
have to
pretend
Tears
become
oceansHours
into
daysGoing
through
the motionsCaught
between
the waves
I have
to say
I’ve
had
enoughSurely
no one
can be
this
tough
From
happy
souls
the
lifeblood
drains
Until
nothing
but
the
darkness
remains
My chest
feels heavy
My throat
is tight
Wondering
whose feelings
I will hurt
tonight
All is quiet
All is still
Thank fuck
For that glass of wine
And the extra pill
When
I was
younger
I
longed
to be
free
But
now I
am older
It’s not
all it’s
cracked
up to be
Nothing makes
me happy
Nothing makes
me smile
There’s nothing left
to look forward to
Nothing that
feels worthwhile
Still
here
tryingYet
always
cryingMind
constantly
vyingBetween
living
and dying
Only ever
Fleetingly happy
But always
Desperately sad
Forever trying
To be good
Whilst contemplating
Being bad
Just piss
off with your
Christmas shitAll this
Ho, Ho,
Fucking Ho…Not
everyone
appreciates itSome of us
are depressed,
you know
I think
these pills
have
stopped
workingThey
have
become
just a
tokenFor
they no
longer
take away
the hurtingFrom a
heart
that is
already
broken
Another
day spent
lying
in bedThoughts
racing
through
my headWondering
what it
was you
saidAnd all
the while
wishing
I was dead
In
some
ways
losing
myself
has
been
harder
than
losing
you
I’m all
at seaBut no one
sees meGesticulating
wildlyAgainst
the tide
I wish
I spent
more time
sleeping
Instead
of all
this
weeping
It would
be nice to
do some
dreaming
As
opposed
to all this
screaming
Here
Another
pillNow
just
stay
stillDon’t
dare
scratch
that
itchYou’ll
just
pull
out
another
stitchThen
once
again
you
will
bleed
everywhereAnd
I
will
have
to
pretend
I
care
It’s finally time
To shuffle off
For of this life
I’ve had enough
I never
get what
I wantLet alone
what I
deserve
Do you
ever wish
you could
give up?
Say right,
that’s it,
I’ve had
enough!
I’m done
with all
this fucking
shit
I’m finally
going
through
with it!
Well,
that’s what
I think
every day
I find
those words
so easy
to say
And now,
it seems,
the demons
have won
For I can
say that I’m
officially
done
I wish
I could
sleep
But I
simply
can’t
relax
I just don’t
have the
strength
to keep
Painting
over the
cracks
No one
ever
loved me
like youAnd now
I’ve lost
it allSo with
no one
left to
turn toTowards
the hole
I crawl
I know
I can’t
do this
anymore
My soul
is heavy
and my
heart
is sore
I feel
the relief
in every
pore
As I walk
along
to the
hardware
store
I’ve been here before
I know this place so well
Seems I’ll never get up to heaven
From this far down in hell
All I do is let
people downThey want
me to smileBut I can
only frownFor I no longer
have the energyTo be the person
they want me to be
I can no
longer
look at
at your
faceMy
eyes I
have to
sheatheFor
tears
begin
to flow
at paceAnd I
can no
longer
breathe
As that
day draws
ever closerThe pain
cannot be
avoidedTo think
it was just
a year agoWhen my
whole world
imploded
No one
sees
me as
anything
moreThan a
sad and
lonely
depressed
old boreA pathetic
waste of
space for
sureJust
another
nuisance
to ignore
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