"All my life's buried here, heap earth upon it"
How long must I wait
She said
Until I tell him how I feel
I don’t think you ever can
He said
That truth you should never reveal
Always The Bridesmaid
If only you’d ask
I would say yes
My undying love
I would confess
Alas it seems
I must somehow
Bide my time
At least for now
(Originally Posted 02.08.2021)
And into those fires of hell
We jumped
Both of us head first
We should’ve just stopped
When the doors were locked
Rather than stay to quench our thirst
Drinking Irresponsibly
From
the
depths
of the
cold
Into
the
dancing
fires of
hell
I
just
cannot
help but
feel
That
this
will not
end
well
(Originally Posted 02.08.2020)
I hope that now
You’re away from me
You are enjoying
Your life carefree
I hope you don’t
Think of me
For I’m standing tall
Just as I should be
The Burden
If
only
I knew
what to do
I
would
not be so
reliant on you
If
only
I knew
how to grieve
It
would be
so much easier
to let you leave
If
only
I knew
who to be
I’d
thank you
for your help
and set you free
(Originally Posted 01.08.2019)
Nature versus nurture
That is the great debate
Was I born a pessimist
Or did it find me late?
I suppose it doesn’t matter
However it came to be
As the cynic is now embedded
In my personality
Mythbusting
If
life is
funny
sometimes
Then
why
can’t
I contain
my laughter
It’s the
same as
all that
bullshit
they say
About
living
happily
ever
after
(Originally Posted 01.08.2020)
I was looking at my old dresses
Just the other day
Remembering each time I’d worn one
Before the desire to went astray
Perhaps I should repurpose them
Put my favourites on display
As there’s no chance I will wear one
And it’s a shame to hide them away
Getting Dressed
I could
put on
a smile
And
step
into a
dress
But why
the fuck
would I
bother
Who is
there to
impress?
(Originally Posted 01.08.2019)
Melodramatic?
Me?
Never!
The Night Shift
Is it
too late
to phone
in sick?
For life…
(Originally Posted 31.07.2019)
Sometimes all you need
Is a shoulder on which to cry
Someone armed with tissues
To help wipe away your issues
Is enough to help you get by
Why Not
Come here
She implored
And sit with me
Let’s drink some wine
Watch shit TV
We can hold hands
And talk all night
Until our troubles
Are out of sight
(Originally Posted 31.07.2020)
And we all know why that is, don’t we?
We all know what you stole
Any trust in men
Was taken when
You denied me any control
Don’t Touch Me
People
like me
can never
be loved
It’s something we
won’t allow
People
like me
can never
be loved
We simply don’t
know how
(Originally Posted 31.07.2019)
Off on
my travels
again
Hoping
this time
for something
new
But
time has
told me
And
experience
shown me
My dreams
will never
come true
Aspirations
Off on
my travels
again
Hoping to
find some
peace
Perhaps I’ll
meet someone
new
And this
heartache will
cease
(Originally Posted 31.07.2019)
There is no update for this one
Nothing further to remark
Other than to say
I have felt this way
Pretty much from the start
Outline In Chalk
Here
I lie
Despite
my wealth
Murdered
By my
mental
health
(Originally Posted 30.07.2020)
I was pretending
So much back then
I should have known
Things would soon go tits up
In fact I’m amazed
Given how I behaved
No one thought to lock me up
Apathy & Deception
How the
fuck am
I going
to get
through
today
when I
can’t even
open my
eyes?
Why the
fuck am
I even
bothering
today
when
my life
is just
a myriad
of lies?
(Originally Posted 30.07.2019)
I remember that night so well
Even though I don’t remember his face
I felt so guilty
Thinking they should commit me
Just for craving his embrace
Guilty
I got lost
in his eyes
when he spoke to me
and, for a moment,
I wondered what
it would be like
to hold his hand.
I’m sorry.
(Originally Posted 30.07.2019)
Take all of your keepsakes
They say
And put them in a box
That way you will always have
A reminder of who you’ve lost
But not everything can be locked away
And it’s those things that you miss
It’s not like a shirt can replace a hug
Or a photo a kiss
Sense (less)
I’m starting to forget.
Your face,
Your voice,
Your touch.
I don’t like it.
(Originally Posted 30.07.2019)
After that night I realised
To quell the fears inside my head
I’d get a much better sleep
If I began to keep
A cricket bat under my bed
Creaky Floorboards
Tonight is
the first time
I’ve felt real fear
Being
home alone
without you here
What if someone
breaks in during
the night?
Will I survive
now you’re not
here to fight?
(Originally Posted 29.07.2019)
There’s a chance this one might work
He said
Proffering her a wand
She near broke his hand
As she snatched it and ran
Before he could even respond
The Magic Shop
What
brings
you
here
He
said
What
can
I do
for
you?
I
just
need
a spell
She
said
To
make
it not
be
true
(Originally Posted 29.07.2020)
I guess
That is
The thing
With scars
They remain
In place
Forever
A showcase
Of the body’s
Memoirs
All those links
It cannot sever
No Way Back
To carry
on living
is proving
too hard
With my mind
and my body
so irrevocably
scarred
(Originally Posted 29.07.2019)
The microdosing experiment was shortlived, thankfully
As if it continued
I think I would’ve broken through that fifth wall
And bricked it up behind me
Never to return
A Long Forty Eight Hours
If you stare
at the same four walls
for long enough,
a fifth can start
to appear.
Perhaps it’s then
you’re supposed to
realise that
the end is near.
If you stare
at the same four walls
for long enough,
your mind can
start to bend.
Perhaps it’s then
you’re supposed to
know it’s the
beginning of the end
(Originally Posted 28.07.2019)
Each a favourite band
To have on hand
When life gets a little bit dark
For there’s nothing finer
Than a guy in eyeliner
To help mend a broken heart
Cure Mode
Enjoying
the
silence
With my
pictures
of you
Running
to your
heart to
be near
And
although
pleasures
remain
As you
fall into
my arms
Equally,
so does
the pain
(Originally Posted 28.07.2020)
I know that here I come across
As someone who speaks their mind
But in reality
Words can often fail me
And my voice is much harder to find
The Jumble Sale
I rummage around inside my head as I search for what to say
But my silence means all you hear is I don’t want you to stay
I rummage around inside my head as I look down to the floor
But my silence means all you hear is I don’t love you anymore
What is painfully sad for both of us is neither of these things are true
But the jumble sale of words in my head prevents me from being honest with you
(Originally Posted 28.07.2019)
No longer the main attraction
I have been consigned to the basement
As people couldn’t touch
They stopped looking as much
And so they wheeled out my replacement
Life as a Relic
It’s like
I’m now
a museum
exhibit
Everyone
is welcome
to stop
and stare
But there
is no
touching
allowed
(Originally Posted 27.07.2019)
They’re not always
About you, you know
These thoughts
Inside my head
Sometimes
I’m more than capable
Of putting myself first
Instead
As If
What’s
that
I
hear
you
say
Don’t
stand
at your
grave
and
weep
I
wouldn’t
piss
on it
If it
was on
fire
You
fucking
egotistical
creep
(Originally Posted 27.07.2020)
There were quite a few before him
As I tried each one for size
But if there’s no more after him
Then I wouldn’t be surprised
Like Lightning
I remember
When
I thought
it was
you
And I
made my
feelings
plain
But
then
I met
him
And
within
seconds
I knew
I’d never
think
about
you
Again
(Originally Posted 26.07.2020)
I really wasn’t well, was I?
Looking back at this
It’s just silo strange, because I
Didn’t realise anything was amiss
The Drudgery
Another
day spent
trudging
through
the
sludge
of life
still
refusing
to budge
forever
trying to
avoid the
judgement
of those
who secretly
hold a
grudge
against me
(Originally Posted 25.07.2019)
This probably would
Have been more apt
For those record temperatures
On Monday last
Whereas here today
The weather is cooler
As as such I feel
In a far better humour
No Air
It’s
too
hot to
think
as
I sit
here
on the
brink
of yet
another
nervous
breakdown…
(Originally Posted 25.07.2019)
I have searched
High and low
Over sea
And underground
So please believe me
When I say
There’s still nary a fuck
To be found
Pretty Sure
I’ll look again,
if you like,
but I’m pretty
sure there’s none.
Fun, happiness,
joy, laughter,
I’m pretty sure
they’ve gone.
(Originally Posted 25.07.2019)
I’m not sure if I’m a masochist
Or just fittingly sentimental
But ever since that day
I haven’t put it away
Which surely can’t be coincidental
The Back of the Wardrobe
I foolishly
made a
mistake
today
I opened
the box
I’d hidden
away
Where the
memories of
our lives
are kept
Along with
all the
tears I’ve
wept
(Originally Posted 25.07.2019)
Things were so hard
For me back then
Every day
My outlook was bleak
And though the worst has passed
I still feel downcast
For at least
One day each week
Not Today
No-one can shield me,
from this pain within.
Nothing can soothe me,
now the rot has set in.
(Originally Posted 24.07.2019)
Some have come and gone
Over the years
But I thank each and every one
Who helped dry my tears
Connections
It’s easier to connect with other writers these days, than it is to any of my friends.
It’s because we understand how shit things are, I think, when the madness descends.
(Originally Posted 24.07.2019)
You said you’d had enough
Back then
That you’d heard it all before
But I always knew
With these words I spew
You’d keep coming back for more
With A Wink
You
really
are
He
said
Without
doubt
The
most
depressing
woman
I’ve
met
Really
She
said
That
is a
shame
As
you
ain’t
seen
nothing
yet
(Originally Posted 23.07.2020)
I guess that’s why folks use Bumble
Grindr, Tinder and Hinge
Virtually searching for a fumble
For digital bodies on which to binge
Blindfolded
They
say
there’s
someone
for
everyone
But
how
can
that
possibly
be?
I’m
surprised
anyone
can
find
anyone
Trapped
in
this
insanity
(Originally Posted 23.07.2020)
It was always a promise
And never a threat
I just haven’t decided
How I’ll do it, yet
Crying Wolf
Remember when I told you
I wished that I was dead
And you thought it was all
Just nonsense in my head
Well maybe now you’ll realise
You will finally get to see
The worst thing that you ever did
Was not to believe me
(Originally Posted 23.07.2021)
Ramblings Of A Fragile Mind 
You must be logged in to post a comment.