This Silent War

I’m trapped inside this silent war

Furiously waving a white flag above my head

But no one seems to care

One day soon

I’ll stop trying

(Originally Posted 14.04.2019)

11/02/2021 7

Next (1)

At this point I just want to feel

It matters not what or who

But this world has lost its appeal

So what is a girl to do?

11/02/2021 12

Tiredness

I already want to go back to sleep

And I haven’t even woken up yet

(Originally Posted 08.04.2019)

11/02/2021 8

The Mirror

Hair crunchy like straw
Brain burst with chaos
Eyes darkened shadows
Arteries slick with grease
Lips rough as sandpaper
Cheeks stained with tears
Skin cracked and weeping
Forearms heavily scarred
Liver soaked with alcohol
Heart cold as granite

I hate looking in the mirror
For I do not like what I see
I shall stop looking in the mirror
For I do not like me

(Originally Posted 05.04.2019)

06/02/2021 24

Random #18

‘You could have achieved so much more, if you weren’t so fucking insecure’

– Me

(Originally Posted 19.07.2019)

05/02/2021 10

Multi Storey Car Parks

As I stand here I wonder…

Who would care, really?

Who would cry?

Who would be bothered to stop and ask why?

Should I? Shouldn’t I?

I couldn’t really go through with it though, could I?

Who would laugh?

Who would sigh?

Is it even possible from up this high?

And then I jump.

Without another care in the world,

or even so much as a goodbye.

(Originally Posted 17.06.2019)

04/02/2021 13

Even My Tissues Have Issues

Will there ever come a day

When I won’t feel so sad

What the hell did I do

That was so fucking bad

All I ever wanted

Was to live a life free from pain

And yet it seems I am destined

To walk forever in the rain

03/02/2021 14

Out of Space

It's like I'm an alien.

Cast adrift on the wrong planet, 

Slowly waving cheerio to the spacecraft as it departs.

'Please, don't leave me behind...'

(Originally Posted 06.03.2019)

31/01/2021 16

All The 8’s

And so it begins

The incessant counting

The overthinking

The fear mounting

That impending doom

Will certainly strike

If I do not get

This pattern right

25/01/2021 8

Psych Ward 101

Just keep calm

Don’t let them see

They’ll leave you alone

If you just agree

22/01/2021 18

Running On Empty

I am so tired

I want to go home

To sit in the quiet

All on my own

For I’ve had enough

Of this battle of wills

I just need some silence

To cure my ills

12/01/2021 15

‘My Only Friend, The End…’

We can 
never 
let 
ourselves 
forget

She 
said 

That 
the 
worst
is often 
yet to 
come 

For 
crying 
out 
loud

He 
said 

How 
fucking 
long

Are 
you 
going 
to
bang
this
drum?

11/01/2021 17

Leave Me Alone

Although the walls

Are closing in

I’ve no desire

To leave

I don’t understand

Why you find that

So fucking hard

To believe

11/01/2021 12

The Insomniac’s Paradox

Why should I bother
Going to bed
When there's nothing
To wake up for

Why should I bother 
Waking up 
When I enjoy sleeping 
So much more

03/01/2021 22

Whistles And Bells

If only
I could 
wrap my
thoughts 

As 
neatly 
as my 
presents 

But 
paper, 
string and 
glitter 
bows 

Don't 
provide 
an adequate 
defence

21/12/2020 17

Sanctuary

Never more than when

I’m in a room full of people

Do I feel most alone

All I want to do is beat

A slow, silent, steady retreat

And find my sanctuary at home

10/12/2020 15

Sprung

The beast has crept back in again

She’s beaten down my door

And there was me

Thinking foolishly

I wouldn’t need pills anymore

09/12/2020 22

Going Too Far

Lying 
here 
in 
this 
strange 
bed

Wondering
what
was
going on
inside 
my head

Trying 
to
ignore
this 
feeling
of dread

Wishing 
I had
chosen 
to stay
at home
instead