Category: Ranting

Could Be Worse

If I
have
to read

Another
status
update

I think
I will
be sick

I
get
it

You’re
bored

With
nothing
to do

But
stop
moaning

You
selfish
prick

26

Tory Voters

You may well clap

And call out a cheer

But what have you done

For the rest of the year?

Hearing you support us tonight

Really made me shiver

It’s just so galling that before now

You’ve sold the NHS down the river

8

Communal Living

Just shut up

You stupid cunts

It is nearly quarter to four

Just go home

To bitch and moan

And stop banging on the floor!

16

On (A) High

I
hope
you
will
remember

The
next
time
you
are
sad

I
could
have
been
there
for you

But
you
blew
each
chance
you had

So
now
you
will
find
me

Sitting
in my
ivory
tower
instead

Eating
strawberries
and
glugging
champagne

From
the
comfort
of my
bed

10

Predators

Twenty three years in prison

Is nowhere near enough

For men like you to realise

We are not your ‘bit of fluff’

10

Slow Clap

Well done you.

Seriously.

I really am

so pleased.

That’s another

innocent person,

you have brought

to their knees.

You’ve achieved

legendary status,

To that we

can all attest.

For when it comes

to fucking people up,

You really are

the best.

14

Unremarkable

I know
I am no
expert

But I wish
you would
just admit

That your
claim to be
an introvert

Is
absolute
bullshit

You’re
actually
just boring

That is
the truth
of it

Devoid
of all
reasoning

With a
complete
lack of wit

You say
you’re
introspective

To seem
like less of
a lame duck

But your
attempts are
ineffective

As you’re
simply dull
as fuck

33

In(sin)cerity

You say
you’ve
got it
rough

Well I’m
calling
bullshit

As I’m
the one
doing
it tough

You
fucking
hypocrite

2

The Reckoning

If you
can’t
bear
to see
the hurt
you’ve
caused

Then
feel
free
to
look
away

For I
know
that
guilt
will
fuck
you up

And
you’ll
face
the
truth
one day

9

E(strange)d

You can say
what you want

But you’re
still a cunt

Your actions
I can’t forgive

For I’ll bear
the brunt

Of your
audacious stunt

For as long as
we both shall live

9

Absolution

Perhaps
this is
all I
deserve

And I
should
expect
more

For
penance
has to
be paid

To
those
my love
I swore

4

Ungrateful Bastards

You
have
no idea

How it
pisses
me off

To
hear you
bemoan

What
you’ve
got

When
there’s
some of us

With
no-one
to hold

With
nothing
to help

Keep
out the
cold

0

No Vacancies

I don’t
want you
to visit

When all
you bring
is pain

I’d rather
stay home
alone

And break
this toxic
chain

16

The Water Cooler

If only
I could
feign
interest

Perhaps
we could
be friends

But in
fact you
bore me
witless

So I
pray this
conversation
ends

27

That’s Enough

I’ve got
nothing
more to
say to you

So please
just
leave me
alone

You don’t
deserve
anything
from me

For every
chance
you have
blown

2

My Heart Bleeds…

Don’t
expect
me to
feel
sorry
for you

Now
that
you’re
on
your
own

You’ve
bought
this
misery
upon
yourself

These
these
seeds
you
yourself
have
sown

12

Jettisoned

I’ve been
getting old
for a
while now

Physically
everything
hurts

And having
to deal
with your
bullshit

Was just
making
it worse

So it’s
goodbye
to all
of you

And your
passive
aggressive
nonsense

I’ll now
live out
the rest
of my life

Emancipated
and content

12

The Spree

I’m
leaving
first
thing
in the
morning

And I’m
unsure
if I’ll
return

For I
have
so
many
scores
to settle

And a
shitload
of bridges
to burn

6

Women In Stand Up

You
don’t
half
speak
shite

He
said

Your
patter
couldn’t
be any
wetter

Well
why
don’t
you take
the mic

She
said

And
we’ll
see if
you can
do better

4

5* Customer Service

I’m in
a bad
mood
today

So I’m
afraid
you’re
out of
luck

I haven’t
got the
patience
for this
bullshit

Now go
on, off
you fuck!

13

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