Buy Cheap Buy Twice

If only I had a pound

For each session that started like this

I wouldn’t need a whip-round

For a better therapist

On The Couch

What’s worrying you today,

He asks.

Everything,

I reply.

(Originally Posted 14.08.2020)

8

It Wasn’t Fun For Me

I will never answer

To you again

As what you called banter

I call pain

Sylvia’s Sister

Maybe I’ll drink until I’m sick

Maybe I’ll dance like a prick

Maybe I’ll smoke ten to the dozen

Maybe I’ll put my head in the oven

Either way one thing is true

It has got fuck all to do with you

(Originally Posted 14.08.2020)

4

New Job

It was about

My job this one

And how I could

No longer empathise

Even three years on

The desire is gone

And my apathy

Pretty hard to disguise

New Life

I’m still
nowhere
near the
same

She
said

Something
inside me has
permanently
changed

I can no
longer
play
this game

She
said

Unless a
new life
can be
arranged

(Originally Posted 14.08.2019)

2

Under The Influence

I must’ve overdone the happy pills

When I wrote this one

As I can’t believe

I’d ever conceive

Of something like this with none

Hard To Believe

When you find

It’s a struggle to cope

When it feels

Like you’ve lost all hope

Remember and try

To just hold on

For there will be

Better days to come

(Originally Posted 13.08.2021)

6

When It’s Only You That Sees It

I really don’t mind saying

That I’m actually quite proud of this

As it describes that employee

To an absolute tee

Despite the sweetness she emits

The Bake Sale

Bringing
along
a
flask of
coffee

And
your
frosted
homemade
cake

Doesn’t
make you
any more
likeable

Or any
less
fucking
fake

(Originally Posted 13.08.2020)

8

Plus It Didn’t Fit

Next time

I’ll buy my own

Tarnished

That
ring you
gave me
yesterday

Has
turned
my finger
green

A more
appropriate
metaphor
for our
relationship

I have
never seen

(Originally Posted 13.08.2019)

2

Honesty

I wrote this one

While hanging on

For a reply to a particular text

As I had shown it

I thought I’d blown it

And wasn’t sure what was next

As it was

It was just a pause

As you wrote back in earnest

And so then I knew

I still had you

And that my effort was worth it

Reassured

The relief
is palpable

My anxiety
is pacified

Our normality
is restored

Thank fuck
you replied

(Originally Posted 13.08.2019)

2

Random #227

“I know that’s what people say – you’ll get over it. I’d say it too. But I know it’s not true. Oh, you’ll be happy again, never fear. But you won’t forget. Every time you fall in love it will be because something in the man reminds you of him.”

– Betty Smith

2

Aye, Right

Perhaps I could find a story

He said

That proves all the stars align

I fear that for that one

She said

I’d wait a long fucking time

Story Books

Read
to me
some
more

She
said

I
swoon
to the
sound
of your
voice

Tell
me
what
you
want
to
hear

He
said

You
know
it’s
always
your
choice

(Originally Posted 12.08.2020)

0

First Love Isn’t Always Kind

It does not matter

That my heart’s shattered

And my self esteem is on the floor

I know you only call me

When you’re feeling horny

And yet I’ll always be back for more

Bad Habits

We
really
should

Give
this
thing
up

But
my
willpower
is
fading

If
we
could
stop

Just
hooking
up

Then this
wouldn’t
feel so
degrading

(Originally Posted 12.08.2020)

6

Drinks With Friends

It’s not like I even

Fancy the guy

And I certainly

Don’t want to get hitched

But I’d be lying

If I tried denying

That sometimes

It would be nice to be picked

It Should Be Me

Looking
up
to
the
sky

Tears
falling
as
I
cry

Asking
over
and
over
why

Will
you
forever
pass
me
by

(Originally Posted 12.08.2019)

8

With Time Comes Acceptance, Supposedly

Stain free

Pain free

Neither really

Matter to me

As I’m still mad

And deeply sad

That this is how

It has to be

Only Sadness Remains

I wander barefoot
in the rain

Trying to wash
away your stain

Now that I’m left
in eternal pain

I’d give anything
to laugh again

(Originally Posted 12.08.2019)

4

It Was Only A 10p Mix Up

Based on a true story this

From when I was about six or seven

I stole some sweets

So the owner called the police

In order to teach me a lesson

I have always felt

He was a little harsh

And his reaction was over the top

But I guess I learned then

Never to steal again

Well, at least not from his shop

Cops & Robbers

Caught with
my hands
in the
sweetie jar

I retreat,
shamefaced,
when I
hear a
police car…

Who the
fuck has
called
the cops?

I only
stole
a few
pear
drops…

(Originally Posted 11.08.2019)

20

Better Off Alone

Why don’t you come over

He said

And spend time with me today

Because I’m better off alone

She said

I’ve learned that the hard way

Power

I’ve walked
along
this road
before

Feeling
lonely
and
insecure

At least
this time
I know
for sure

You
cannot
hurt me
anymore

(Originally Posted 11.08.2019)

2

Don’t Say I Didn’t Warn You

You badgered me into talking

As you were oh so concerned

So I opened that can

Then turned and ran

And left you with the worms

So Help Me…

Just
keep
pushing
me

To see
what
it’s
about

Just
don’t
blame
me

When I
finally
lash
out

(Originally Posted 11.08.2020)

2

When Pushed

I actually love sassy me

I just wonder where she went

As I really only see her

At times of hostility and torment

Undefeated

You might
not be
speaking
to me

But I know
you’re
speaking
about me

That
means
I win

(Originally Posted 10.08.2019)

0

Unreciprocated Love

It will never be

The right time for me

I just have to accept it

As I cannot take

The abject heartache

Each time I am rejected

Each Time We Meet

Why isn’t
it me,
she asks,

Why can’t
it be us?

For I
already
love another,
he says,

As her
dreams
crumble
to dust.

(Originally Posted 10.08.2019)

0

Putting The Flags Away

I don’t know why

I got carried away

I only smiled

That one day

It’s not like my sadness

Can fade to grey

As this black cloud

Is here to stay

‘A Little Peculiar’

Something happened this morning

When I sat up in my bed

I found that instead of yawning

I actually smiled instead

(Originally Posted 10.08.2020)

2

‘Help Is On The Way, Dear’

Tea

She said

Is that it?

Don’t you have anything stronger

I’ll have a look in the back

He said

But it might take a little longer

Stiff Upper Lip

I
feel
so
sad

She
said

Can
you
help
me?

I’ll
certainly
try

He
said

Here’s
some
tea

(Originally Posted 09.08.2020)

4

09.08

Three years on

From writing this

And that strength still eludes me

Don’t get me wrong

I can, at times, be strong

But my future still looks pretty gloomy

08.08

So it’s another birthday

And what a day it has been

If I’d have known last year

What I know now

I would have jacked it all in

But I suppose now it’s time

At this ripe old age

And much to my chagrin

To find a way of moving forward

And discover the strength within

(Originally Posted 09.08.2019)

8

Birthdays Are The Worst Days

I still don’t know

What the fuck to do

Even though today

I’m forty two

Entering My Fifth Decade

So I
turned
forty
today

And
what
exactly
did
I do?

Nothing

But
drink,
smoke
and cry
too much

Like
every
other
day

Without
you

Xxx

(Originally Posted 08.08.2020)

17

A Birthday (In Bognor) To Remember

A true story

This one is

From thirty eight years ago

We were on holiday

At Butlin’s that year

When I decided to take a stroll

I let go of

My mother’s hand

And wandered in a different direction

Off in search

Of sweets no doubt

Or some other such confection

I have no idea

How long I was gone

But at the time it felt like an age

Until I was found

By a kindly policeman

Who ended my little rampage

Next thing I remember

Was in the community centre

Being reunited with my mum

First she hugged me

And then she shook me

For making her so glum

But I’ll always treasure

My little endeavour

As it did teach me one thing

My independence

Was something to treasure

So I found it again when I turned eighteen

Childhood Memories

I got lost on my
eighth birthday.

Sometimes
I wonder
what would’ve
happened,

If I had never
been found.

(Originally Posted 08.08.2019)

5

It’s The Little Things On A Day Like This

A card left for me

On the pillow

Flowers and a bath bomb or two

I’ll buy them myself

Again this year

As there’s no way I can get them from you

Xxx

O Unhappy Day

I never
thought
you
wouldn’t
be here
today

It’s
still
hard to
accept
that you
went away

Perhaps
you’re
still
with me
here in
spirit

I just
wish
your
presence
was more
explicit

Xxx

(Originally Posted 08.08.2020)

6

My Real Family

Lockdown birthdays

Were no fun

Not for me

Or for anyone

This year I’ll make up

For being alone the last two

By spending the day

Having fun with you

That Time Of Year

Maybe
it’s
because
I can’t
be there

Or
perhaps
it’s
more
I just
don’t
care

For
now
that my
confidence
has
grown

I’ll
spend my
birthday
at home
alone

(Originally Posted 08.08.2020)

6

A Diamond In The Rough

Perhaps I do have a sense of humour.

Sometimes.

Out of Shape

In a world full of cubes,

I’m a dodecahedron.

Overly complicated.

(Originally Posted 07.08.2019)

7

Bash(Ful)

It was nice of them

To think of me

Very kind of them to try

But all I could think

As I was ushered in

Was that I wanted to curl up and die

The Surprise Party

Sorry
that
I’m not
jumping
with
delight

But
I would
have
preferred
to be
alone
tonight

(Originally Posted 07.08.2020)

2

‘The Winner Takes It All’

You ignored me for

That whole weekend

Never once looking me

In the eye

As you were so set on

Being their number one

You pretended not

To realise

But I knew full well

What you were doing

As that wasn’t

The only time

You’d been playing those games

For your own gain

Since you first planned

My demise

So I waited

And I watched

And sure enough

You came simpering back

So then I knew

All I had to do

Was to launch

My final attack

Good Enough

So I’m good enough
to speak to today?

Now all your friends
have gone away?

Well I’ll hold my tongue
and try to be nice.

But you’ll find my lenience
comes at a price.

(Originally Posted 07.08.2019)

4

It’s Getting Boring Now

Jesus.

I even depress myself sometimes,

So fuck knows how you feel.

Wallowing

I
could
lie
here
and
fade
away

I’m
neither
here
nor
there

Not
that
I expect
you
would
notice

Or
even
that
you’d
care

(Originally Posted 06.08.2020)

10

Unwilling To Submit

I asked for you

To give me time

And space to clear my head

But as you’ve shown

You can’t leave me alone

Let’s just call it quits instead

Over

Time may heal

Hearts can mend

Until then accept

This is the end

(Originally Posted 06.08.2019)

0

Regional Differences

There’s a lot behind

The C word

Most find it offputting and offensive

And while I don’t disagree

If you grew up like me

You possibly wouldn’t be so apprehensive

Through The Barricades (Scheme Burd Version)

Him:

Come
with
me

My
tender
one

Let us
roam
amongst
the
heather

Her:

Get
tae
fuck

Ya
daft
wee
cunt

We’re
no’
even
thegither

(Originally Posted 06.08.2020)

4

Up ↑