Tag: suicidal ideation

“I Know It’s Gonna Happen Someday”

If some of my poems

Are humorous

Albeit

A little dark

This one

Is deadly serious

And not just

A flippant remark

Hanging Around

I know it’s there

In the shed

Waiting for when

I choose death instead

(Originally Posted 23.12.2020)

2

I Wasn’t Built For This

I guess I am

A misanthrope

Born as I was

Devoid of hope

Destined across

The world to mope

Forever trying

To avoid the rope

Misanthropic Me

People
never
cease to
disgust
and
disappoint
me in
equal measure

Perhaps
that’s
why my
life is
full of
discomfort
and
displeasure

(Originally Posted 09.10.2019)

2

By Mutual Agreement

I can hardly remember writing

Such a powerful piece

Although I can recall requiring

A medication increase

Yes Sir, No Sir

Okay,
okay,
I accept
defeat.

I’ll get up,
get dressed,
drink tea,
eat.

I’ll take
the pills
you say
I need.

I’ll be a
good wee girl,
like we
agreed.

(Originally Posted 11.09.2019)

6

Bonne Idée

It would’ve been all too easy

To enact the ultimate ‘au revoir’

So just in case I was tempted

I made sure to sell my car

#8 The Optimist

This is

A message

From your favourite

Depressive

To say all

Is well with me

Here’s hoping

It lasts

That those days

Have passed

And I don’t drive

Into a tree

(Originally Posted 02.09.2021)

8

A Tough Read

I really am quite thankful

I no longer feel like this

Even though day to day

Things aren’t always okay

At least I’ve stopped thinking that shit

Shotgun

At
this
point
I’ll
try
anything

She
said

It
can’t
do any
harm

Then
you
should
take
this
one

He
said

It’ll
work
like a
charm

(Originally Posted 27.08.2020)

10

The End Of The Road

Pretending gets tiring

After a while

So in the end you stop

With no cylinders left firing

And an inibility to smile

It’s back up to that rooftop

14

Peace

It’s hard to explain what happens

When I’m standing alone up there

I’m just willing it all to end

To no longer have to care

I forget about everyone

And every little thing

It’s just me and the breeze

With the comfort it can bring

My mind is crystal clear

And I don’t hear a sound

As all of my focus is trained

On finally hitting the ground

22

I Can’t Be Arsed

Is this all there is now

Just sitting here killing time

Waiting for the next one to come along

Getting stoned and drinking wine

You see I’d rather not bother

Wasting all this time and effort

I’d prefer to end it here and now

And all my earthly ties sever

17

Multi Storey Car Parks

As I stand here I wonder…

Who would care, really?

Who would cry?

Who would be bothered to stop and ask why?

Should I? Shouldn’t I?

I couldn’t really go through with it though, could I?

Who would laugh?

Who would sigh?

Is it even possible from up this high?

And then I jump.

Without another care in the world,

or even so much as a goodbye.

(Originally Posted 17.06.2019)

13

Happy Place

Take me back

To the sea

For it is where

I need to be

But please don’t think

That just because

You’ve emptied my pockets

It’ll be enough to stop it

For in the end

It will just be me

Sinking deep down

Into the depths of the sea

10

Shotgun

At
this
point
I’ll
try
anything

She
said

It
can’t
do any
harm

Then
you
should
take
this
one

He
said

It’ll
work
like a
charm

20

Let Me Go

Please
just
walk
away

And
take
yourself
off home

I
don’t
want to
talk

I
want
to be
alone

4

Look Out!

Falling

Tumbling

Through the air

Wondering

What it’s like

Down there

People standing

With faces aghast

Yet I don’t care

As I breathe my last

8

No Swimming

One
day
I’ll
wake
up

And
I won’t
feel
this
strong

So
you’ll
find
me

Drowned
in the
river

And
back
where
I belong

22

Drunk, Down and Potentially Out

Yet another day with the urge to quit

How the fuck do I deal with it

Without you by my side

With all your love and kindness to me me denied

Perhaps I should just put it all to an end

Rather than continue going around the bend

As hanging on has never been worth it

Not when I face this tsunami of bullshit

10

(A) Pathetic (Part One)

Here

Another
pill

Now
just
stay
still

Don’t
dare
scratch
that
itch

You’ll
just
pull
out
another
stitch

Then
once
again
you
will
bleed
everywhere

And
I
will
have
to
pretend
I
care

12

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