Putting It Bluntly

I’ll say

I felt better

In the end

But the honest truth

Is that

The only reason

I didn’t jump

That day

Is there’d be no one

To feed my cat

Crying Wolf

Remember when I told you

I wished that I was dead

And you thought it was all

Just nonsense in my head

Well maybe now you’ll realise

You will finally get to see

The worst thing that you ever did

Was not to believe me

Out Of My Hands

There wouldn’t be any problem

If I didn’t wake up tomorrow

At least I wouldn’t be in pain

Or suffocating in this sorrow

Peace

It’s hard to explain what happens

When I’m standing alone up there

I’m just willing it all to end

To no longer have to care

I forget about everyone

And every little thing

It’s just me and the breeze

With the comfort it can bring

My mind is crystal clear

And I don’t hear a sound

As all of my focus is trained

On finally hitting the ground

I Can’t Be Arsed

Is this all there is now

Just sitting here killing time

Waiting for the next one to come along

Getting stoned and drinking wine

You see I’d rather not bother

Wasting all this time and effort

I’d prefer to end it here and now

And all my earthly ties sever

The Noose Tightens

Today has
been like
scratching
a brick wall

I didn’t
see this
one coming
at all

Everything
I’ve done
has made me
feel worse

I cannot
shrug this
nightmarish
curse

It feels
ridiculously
melodramatic
to say

But I
really don’t
think there’s
another way

All that
appeals
to me now
is that rope

As finally
it seems I’ve
abandoned
all hope

(Originally Posted 21.08.2019)

Try Harder Next Time

The monster who lives

Under my bed

Whispers again

Why aren’t you dead

Berating me

For writing instead

When all the time

That rope’s still in the shed

The Hangman

I really
try my
best to
cope and
not just
sit around
and mope
but as
time moves
on I
know there’s
no hope
I can
forget the
past and
avoid the
rope that
silently
whispers my
name

(Originally Posted 02.07.2019)

Finally

I wonder what you’ll all say,

When I finally go away.

I wonder what you’ll all think,

When off into the shadows I slink.

I wonder if you’ll all stop and stare,

When you finally realise I’m no longer there.

(Originally Posted 25.06.2019)

Multi Storey Car Parks

As I stand here I wonder…

Who would care, really?

Who would cry?

Who would be bothered to stop and ask why?

Should I? Shouldn’t I?

I couldn’t really go through with it though, could I?

Who would laugh?

Who would sigh?

Is it even possible from up this high?

And then I jump.

Without another care in the world,

or even so much as a goodbye.

(Originally Posted 17.06.2019)

Happy Place

Take me back

To the sea

For it is where

I need to be

But please don’t think

That just because

You’ve emptied my pockets

It’ll be enough to stop it

For in the end

It will just be me

Sinking deep down

Into the depths of the sea

Let Me Go

Please
just
walk
away

And
take
yourself
off home

I
don’t
want to
talk

I
want
to be
alone

Sylvia’s Sister

Maybe I’ll drink until I’m sick

Maybe I’ll dance like a prick

Maybe I’ll smoke ten to the dozen

Maybe I’ll put my head in the oven

Either way one thing is true

It’s got fuck all to do with you

Deep Breaths

Maybe
you’ll
change
your
mind

Or
maybe
you
won’t

But
one
thing
is for
sure

You’ll
regret
it if
you
don’t

K(not)

All
I can
say is
I live
in hope

That
one day
I will
tie that
rope

As
tightly
as I see
it in
my mind

And
all my
troubles
I’ll leave
behind

‘Twilight’

I wish
I could
remember

The
good
old
days

But I
fear they
were just
a lie

For I
cannot
recall

Any
time in
my life

When I
didn’t
want
to die

Celebrity Suicide Breeds Public Dishonesty

So you can
empathise
with her

Someone
you only
saw on TV?

But when
my shit hit
the fan

You couldn’t
sympathise
with me?

Well fuck your
social media
petition

And your
boycott of
that rag

Why not look
a little closer
to home?

You
disingenuous
old hag

You Have Been Warned

I’m
too
scared
to go
out
today

For
the
dark
thoughts
haven’t
gone away

I’m
worried
I’m so
far into
this
slump

That I’ll
be left
with no
choice
but to
jump

999

God
knows
why I
didn’t
wake up
dead

Or why
I didn’t
think
to plan
this far
ahead

Rope

I know
I can’t
do this
anymore

My soul
is heavy
and my
heart
is sore

I feel
the relief
in every
pore

As I walk
along
to the
hardware
store

Harsh Truth

It can
be a
hard
lesson
to learn

When
you’re
at the
point of
no return

That
nobody
actually
gives
a shit

Whether
you decide
to stay
or to
end it

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