Across The Pond

Get
off
your
arse
and
vote

And
do it
right
this
time
please

Your
country
has,
for
too
long,

Been
on
its
fucking
knees

‘You Won’t Know Until You Try…’

Should
we
accidentally
meet

On that
busy,
bustling
street

Would
the birds
above us
tweet

As our
hearts
skip a
beat?

Or would I just blether on a whole heap of shite because I’m clinically depressed and unable to formulate a meaningful conversation with anyone of the opposite sex since my partner died so you just give up trying to listen and walk away thinking who the fuck was that lunatic and happily go about the rest of your life whilst I retreat back to my house wondering why the fuck I even bothered going out in the first fucking place?

A Waste Of Money

Dearly
beloved

We
are
gathered
here
today

To
witness
this
couple’s
happiness

We
must
remember,
of course,

That
in a
year
they’ll be
divorced

And
we’ll
have
forgotten
all this
sappiness

(Over) Sharing

Well
far
be it
for
little
old me

To
distract
you
from
your
reverie

But
I really
need
to make
you see

Before
I’ve
drowned
in my
misery

Blunt

I
wish
you
were
here
with
me

But
instead
I’m
all
alone

If
only
you
would
write
a letter

Or
call
me on
the
phone

It
would
be so
wonderful
to facetime

Or
if
you
texted
me
instead

But
I know
you
won’t
do any
of these

You
can’t

Because
you’re
dead

Solid Doors

If my
life
was a
movie

And
I got
to
choose

I
don’t
know
which
actress
I’d
pick

But
I wouldn’t
be a
beauty

The
nice
guy
I would
lose

And
I’d
end up
marrying
the
prick

Digging For Gold

Kindness
lives
within
you

He
said

Of
that
I am
the
judge

Then
by all
means
try to
find it

She
said

Beneath
the
fucking
sludge

The Silver Medal

This
was
hardly
a fair
fight

And
we
both
know
who
rightfully
won

Yet
I’ll
step
graciously
aside
for
you

As
one
day
the
truth
will
come

Self Portrait #1

Both a rhymer and a charmer

She only sticks around for drama

Writing with a screw loose or two

She isn’t scared of an expletive or few

Mourning the loss of her true love

She knows there’s no-one up above

Kind, caring and empathetic

She isn’t very sympathetic

Often scathing but often witty

She has a penchant for the nitty gritty

Sometimes joking sometimes smart

She weeps with her broken heart

Enamoured with music, wine and song

She knows with those she can’t go wrong

Shaking Spears

‘When sorrows come, they come not single spies, but in battalions ‘

‘Tell me about it, my friend, that’s why we deserve fucking medallions’

What I Should Have Said

Get to fuck

You piece of shit

I will not stand

For any more pish

You think you’re it

But it’s just a front

You’re nothing more

Than a self serving cunt

As If

What’s
that

I
hear
you
cry

Don’t
stand
at your
grave
and
weep

I
wouldn’t
piss
on it

If it
was on
fire

You
fucking
egotistical
creep

With A Wink

You
really
are

He
said

Without
doubt

The
most
depressing
woman
I’ve
met

Really

She
said

That
is a
shame

As
you
ain’t
seen
nothing
yet

Oldies

Love’s
young
dream
we
weren’t

We
were
hardly
even
the
old

But
if
we
met
again

I’d
still
be
your
friend

If
the
truth
be
told

Deceit

Lying to
myself
is bad
enough

But
lying
to you
hurts
more

But
there’s
no way
I could
be truthful

That’s
for
fucking
sure

An Apathetic Author

It’s
hard to
write
it all
down

What
I’ve
been
feeling
inside

But now
is the
time to
start
again

For the
truth
I’ll no
longer
hide

Dear Reader

Sometimes
my words
are so
savage

I even
surprise
myself

It’s like
the page
I must
ravage

With no
care at
all for
yourself

Reflex

I can’t
believe
it’s taken

All this
time to
see

That the
bully is
not you

But,
actually,
it’s me

Little Sister

I am not
who you
think I am

So please
don’t look
up to me

If you
only knew
the truth

You’d cut
down our
family tree

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