You words can be so sad 😞, sometimes it breaks my heart to read them… I just hope it helps you to write about all these feelings and wish you the best ❤️
Aw, thank you so much. That’s very kind. I know my words can be brutally honest at times (and I don’t always think of the effect they can have on others – so I apologise for that 😕), but certainly writing again is definitely helping me through some pretty difficult times… 🖤 🖤
That shift in the last line was jarring. The first part says that “time will tell” and then the third one talks about the proverbial axe falling. Those are fatalistic lines. Based off of that, one would expect the last line to read “when ‘it’ll’ end it all”, not “when TO end it all.” It almost seems the narrator has changed their mind about time and waiting.
Now obviously, I don’t condone suicide. As far as poetry and storytelling go (as well as metaphorical and allegorical elements), this short little poem is packed with things waiting to be studied critically. Excellent writing (and if my critique is off, it’s still excellent writing 🙂 )
Your critique is spot on my friend – as is standard for you 👍
I’m glad you find so much to think about / discuss in my ramblings. My style of writing can be so fast and fluid at times I only find the meaning myself when others point it out! 😊🖤
You are wondering
when will be the end
but you are missing
a big part of the act
let me tell, my friend
you are not seeing
the how and when
good things will start.
What I’ve had to learn
is not how to fight, but,
getting to live not apart
making a life for others
less like a living hell.
Ramblings Of A Fragile Mind 
You words can be so sad 😞, sometimes it breaks my heart to read them… I just hope it helps you to write about all these feelings and wish you the best ❤️
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Aw, thank you so much. That’s very kind. I know my words can be brutally honest at times (and I don’t always think of the effect they can have on others – so I apologise for that 😕), but certainly writing again is definitely helping me through some pretty difficult times… 🖤 🖤
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I’m glad to hear that and you don’t need to apologise 😉😊 ❤️
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🖤🖤
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That shift in the last line was jarring. The first part says that “time will tell” and then the third one talks about the proverbial axe falling. Those are fatalistic lines. Based off of that, one would expect the last line to read “when ‘it’ll’ end it all”, not “when TO end it all.” It almost seems the narrator has changed their mind about time and waiting.
Now obviously, I don’t condone suicide. As far as poetry and storytelling go (as well as metaphorical and allegorical elements), this short little poem is packed with things waiting to be studied critically. Excellent writing (and if my critique is off, it’s still excellent writing 🙂 )
LikeLiked by 1 person
Your critique is spot on my friend – as is standard for you 👍
I’m glad you find so much to think about / discuss in my ramblings. My style of writing can be so fast and fluid at times I only find the meaning myself when others point it out! 😊🖤
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You are wondering
when will be the end
but you are missing
a big part of the act
let me tell, my friend
you are not seeing
the how and when
good things will start.
What I’ve had to learn
is not how to fight, but,
getting to live not apart
making a life for others
less like a living hell.
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A shooting star of hope, as always my friend 🖤
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Beautiful said! 😀
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