Leave Me Alone

Although the walls

Are closing in

I’ve no desire

To leave

I don’t understand

Why you find that

So fucking hard

To believe

11/01/2021 12

Hanging Around

I know it’s there

In the shed

Waiting for when

I choose death instead

23/12/2020 10

Whistles And Bells

If only
I could 
wrap my
thoughts 

As 
neatly 
as my 
presents 

But 
paper, 
string and 
glitter 
bows 

Don't 
provide 
an adequate 
defence

21/12/2020 17

Clarity

In the time it took

To load the gun

He realised how

His demons won

13/12/2020 24

Happy Place

Take me back

To the sea

For it is where

I need to be

But please don’t think

That just because

You’ve emptied my pockets

It’ll be enough to stop it

For in the end

It will just be me

Sinking deep down

Into the depths of the sea

10/12/2020 10

Sanctuary

Never more than when

I’m in a room full of people

Do I feel most alone

All I want to do is beat

A slow, silent, steady retreat

And find my sanctuary at home

10/12/2020 15

Off The Hook

I’ve worked it out

How all this will end

And you’ll be pleased to know

I won’t need you, my friend

09/12/2020 9

Sprung

The beast has crept back in again

She’s beaten down my door

And there was me

Thinking foolishly

I wouldn’t need pills anymore

09/12/2020 22

Vanished

With no idea what this shit means

I’ve fallen apart at the seams

Hidden behind these opaque screens

I only exist now in my dreams

23/11/2020 5

Tickets For Sale

Shout
as much
as you
want

Loudly
bang
your
drum

For I
won’t be
joining
in

I’m
far too
fucking
numb

18/11/2020 17

The Daily Struggle

I went back to bed

Three times today

To try to dream

This pain away

But it didn’t work

And now I’m awake

Do I have any choice

But my life to take?

16/11/2020 21

‘Jealous Guy’

Some
days
I am
acutely
aware

That
you
have
much
more
fun
than
me

I
suppose
it’s
not
that
hard
to
believe

Given
my
penchant
for
misery

08/11/2020 18

‘Talking Without Speaking’

I can
feel it
coming
on

That
darkness,
my old
friend

I’ve not
got out
of bed
in days

And
don’t
know if
I will
again

06/11/2020 10

Unhealthy Choices

Sitting
here
with
nothing
to do

And
yet my
mind is
crowded

This
is when
things
go wrong

When my
judgement
becomes
clouded

05/11/2020 14

Assistance / Resistance

So
it’s
been
a year

Of
your
latest
treatment

Yet
I still
don’t
feel

Any
fucking
different

30/10/2020 6

The Passing Samaritan

I
really
can’t
explain
it

This
feeling
I have
inside

I
just
don’t
want
to be
here

And,
God
knows,
I’ve
tried

29/10/2020 10

Zestless

Finally
dropping
into
bed

Knowing
I couldn’t
have done
any more

There’s
no point
setting
an alarm

As
there’s
nothing
to wake
up for

24/10/2020 30

Random #33

‘It’s a miracle I even made it this far…’

23/10/2020 9

Fade To Black

Pull down the stars

Put out the sun

I’ve had enough

You have won

23/10/2020 14

‘You Won’t Know Until You Try…’

Should
we
accidentally
meet

On that
busy,
bustling
street

Would
the birds
above us
tweet

As our
hearts
skip a
beat?

Or would I just blether on a whole heap of shite because I’m clinically depressed and unable to formulate a meaningful conversation with anyone of the opposite sex since my partner died so you just give up trying to listen and walk away thinking who the fuck was that lunatic and happily go about the rest of your life whilst I retreat back to my house wondering why the fuck I even bothered going out in the first fucking place?

22/10/2020 38