You
should
use
this
time
to
think
He
said
About
what
it is
you
want
Only
if you
bring
me
coffee
She
said
And
a hot
buttered
croissant
"All my life's buried here, heap earth upon it"
You
should
use
this
time
to
think
He
said
About
what
it is
you
want
Only
if you
bring
me
coffee
She
said
And
a hot
buttered
croissant
At
this
point
I’ll
try
anything
She
said
It
can’t
do any
harm
Then
you
should
take
this
one
He
said
It’ll
work
like a
charm
You ask
What
I left
Behind
Nothing
I answer
Just
My mind
I’ll
take
anything
you’ve
got to
give
A drink;
a smoke,
a sedative
As the
voices
in my
head
these
days
Are
proving
far too
competitive
Maybe I’ll drink until I’m sick
Maybe I’ll dance like a prick
Maybe I’ll smoke ten to the dozen
Maybe I’ll put my head in the oven
Either way one thing is true
It’s got fuck all to do with you
What’s worrying you today,
He asks.
Everything,
I reply.
I
could
lie
here
and
fade
away
I’m
neither
here
nor
there
Not
that
I expect
you
would
notice
Or
that
you’d
even
care
Am I
supposed
to feel
something?Because
I don’tAm I
supposed
to thank
you?Because
I won’t
Here
I lieDespite
my wealthMurdered
By my
mental
health
You
really
are
He
said
Without
doubt
The
most
depressing
woman
I’ve
met
Really
She
said
That
is a
shame
As
you
ain’t
seen
nothing
yet
It
matters
not
If
I go
out
Or if
I stay
at home
As
either
way
It’s
clear
to me
I’ll
always
be alone
Ah well
What the heck
Put your hand
Around my neck
And squeeze
When I was told
What did unfold
I’ll admit that
I was envious
For you achieved
Of what I dream
As my will to live
Is tenuous
Back here alone
In this room again
With the darkness
My old friend
Praying for someone
My wounds to tend
Ever hopeful
This pain will end
The
cut
on
my
wrist
Has
now
healed
As
I was
told
not
to
pick
it
The
delicate
skin
Is
now
sealed
So
I’ll
try
not
to
nick
it
Again
I’ve
no
idea
How
I got
in
But
I know
I can’t
Get
out
There’s
no one
here
To
lend
a hand
Or
act
upon
My
shout
One
day
I’ll
wake
up
And
I won’t
feel
this
strong
So
you’ll
find
me
Drowned
in the
river
And
back
where
I belong
Another
day
Another
pill
Will
this
one
make
me
Feel
less
ill?
It was the lonliness
That got to me
If I’m honest
In the end
Sitting here
Just quietly
But all alone
Again
Desperately trying
Yet failing
My broken heart
To mend
All the while
Convinced
The rope
Was my friend
So
this
is
it
Lying
in bed
all day
again
Wine
and
cigarettes
my only
friend
I’m so
bored
of this
shit
I
could
make
myself
sick
I
really
am
nothing
But a
nauseating
prick
Bad thoughts creep
As I’m without sleep
For yet another night
Fears won’t keep
Whilst I lie and weep
Losing the will to fight
And
then
it
hits
Like
a ton
of
bricks
And
I don’t
feel a
thing
Lying to
myself
is bad
enough
But
lying
to you
hurts
more
But
there’s
no way
I could
be truthful
That’s
for
fucking
sure
I don’t
know if
you’re
aware
She
said
But
I’ve
been
feeling
rather
down
Let me
fetch my
notebook
He
said
Reaching
forward
with a
frown
Maybe
you’ll
change
your
mind
Or
maybe
you
won’t
But
one
thing
is for
sure
You’ll
regret
it if
you
don’t
How
many
more
times
Must
I walk
this
path
Surely
I’ve
done it
enough
times now
To
find
my own
way
back
Another minute
Another hour
Another day
Another shower
Of shite
All
I can
say is
I live
in hope
That
one day
I will
tie that
rope
As
tightly
as I see
it in
my mind
And
all my
troubles
I’ll leave
behind
I
don’t
want
to feel
better
I
don’t
want
to feel
at all
And
so
begins
another
day
Where
I pretend
every
thing
is ok
If
only
there
was
another
way
As I
hate
being
such a
fucking
cliché
What do I do
Now all hope is gone
And I am left here
On my own
Somehow still alive
But gasping for air
Unable to thrive
Yet unwilling to care
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