Tag: grief

Queen

Even though

It’s still a shit show

It must go on,

I suppose

(Originally Posted 22.03.2019)

7

Who Am I?

I think that I forgot myself

Somewhere along the way

So not only have I lost you

I’ve got a whole life to replay

(Originally Posted 28.07. 2019)

29

I Hope You’re Happy Now

My eyes weep
As my heart aches
I hope you’re happy now

My mind breaks
As my guts bleed
I hope you’re happy now

My soul scars
As you leave
I hope you’re happy now

(Originally Posted 21.03.2019)

18

Best Fri(end)

I
never
thought

This
would
be

How
all
this
would
end

Me
living
here
alone

Without
my
best
friend

(Originally Posted 21.06.2019)

14

A Life Together

There were times when I would tire of it all,

But I don’t have a single regret.

I never once got bored of it all,

Our inescapable duet.

(Originally Posted 06.05.2019)

0

Jigsaws

You should be here with us. 

Reciting these stories,

Reminding us of the facts,

Pointing out the details,

Bringing these memories to life.

We didn't realise, back then,

We'd need to remember it all.

As one day you wouldn't be here,

To connect the dots... 

(Originally Posted 13.03.2019)

4

‘Blue Sign’

I was doing really well today you know.

I got out of bed at a reasonable time.
I sang to myself in the shower.
I put on different clothes.
I remembered to fed the cat.

I cleaned the bathroom.
I threw out the stale food from the fridge.
I washed the bed sheets.
I took the rubbish out.

I went for a swim.
I started listening to a new podcast.
I went shopping in the afternoon.
I even flirted with the man who served me.

And then I drove past the blue sign.
And the sky fell in.
And I remembered everything.
And my heart shattered all over again.


(Originally Posted 11.03.2019)
12

Imprint

I roll over to your side of the bed.

My limbs search for yours,

My lungs for your scent,

My mouth for your kiss.

But all that’s left is your imprint.

So my tears fall into your pillow,

Once again.

(Originally Posted 23.03.2019)

16

God’s Plan

Widowed when you're 38

He said 

That's my plan for you 

Well all I can say to that 

She said

Is seriously, fuck you

(Originally Posted 14.4.2019)
34

Words

It's only when you have nothing
That you realise words are everything

Words make your mind break
Words make your soul ache

Words incite you to roar
Words inspire you to soar

It's only when you have nothing
That you realise words are everything

I have nothing
But my words

(Originally Posted 16.03.2019)

 

42

This Silent War

I’m trapped inside this silent war

Furiously waving a white flag above my head

But no one seems to care

One day soon

I’ll stop trying

(Originally Posted 14.04.2019)

7

Tiredness

I already want to go back to sleep

And I haven’t even woken up yet

(Originally Posted 08.04.2019)

8

Hold Tight

That roof is calling my name.

I know it is.

I can hear it.

Every day its voice gets louder and louder.

Every day I’m drawn closer and closer.

I went up there tonight.

Just to the edge.

Just to look.

I held on to the safety rail.

I cannot promise that tomorrow,

I won’t let go.

(Originally Posted 26.03.2019)

11

Happy Things

I've tried to write about happy things

But the words don't seem to flow

Perhaps I've forgotten happy things

And sadness is all I know


(Originally Posted 03.04.2019)
14

Invisible Injuries

Death leaves
scars on the
hearts of
the living.

Unstitchable
wounds
destined to
irritate those
forced to
bear them,
forever.

(Originally Posted 13.5.2019)

16

Hard/Harder

Falling asleep is hard 
Waking up is harder

Getting showered is hard
Putting on clothes is harder

Making breakfast is hard
Eating it is harder

Leaving the house is hard
Going home is harder

Crossing the road is hard
Looking both ways is harder

Listening to people is hard
Talking to people is harder

Smiling in general is hard
Laughing at jokes is harder

Living with you was hard
Living without you is harder

(Originally Posted 13.3.2019)
22

Out of Space

It's like I'm an alien.

Cast adrift on the wrong planet, 

Slowly waving cheerio to the spacecraft as it departs.

'Please, don't leave me behind...'

(Originally Posted 06.03.2019)

 

16

‘Thank You, But No…’

If this is how life is going to be

Then I wish to play no part.

I have neither the strength nor the desire

To risk another broken heart.

(Originally Posted 19.05.2019)

21

Cheats Never Prosper

If there’s one thing I’ve learned

It’s that you can’t skip the stages

Even if moving forward

Feels like it’s taking fucking ages

If you jump too far forward

You only fall further back

And all you do is store your pain

For further down the track

11

Recurring

The tears I cried

When you died

Will never fully dry

For with each day

Dawns a new array

Of pain I can’t deny

Xxx

4

How Long Has It Been Now?

From this cold embittered heart

I just cannot be prised apart

Like a leech on an open wound

Oh, is there any hope for me

From the past to be set free

And to love again become more attuned?

🖤

13

Comforting

I don’t know what I’ll do

She said

When it’s time for you to go

You may never see me again

He said

But when I’m next to you

You’ll know

14

Poles Apart

I still cry myself to sleep

Not that you’d know

You selfish creep

You think because

We all lost him

That we both feel the same

But you’ve really got

No fucking clue

How I live each day in pain

24

Currency

I'll
give 
you a
penny
for 
them

He 
said

Tell
me
your 
ups
and 
downs 

You 
can
put 
your 
coppers
away

She 
said

As
for 
those
I'll 
need
pounds
14

Sown Up

I don’t feel better

I haven’t forgotten

I’ve just stopped telling you

How I feel

13

Hometime

As the hurt starts to subside

And the pain begins to fade

I’m never too far

From the reminder

Grief is still the sharpest blade

4

Tu Me Manques

I just wish you were still here.

That’s it.

No flowery language.

No poetic licence.

I just wish you hadn’t died.

Simple.

Xxx.

10

Ontology

Who am I now?

What should I do?

Why am I still here?

When I could be with you?

Xxx

6

Mawkish

You’ll say you miss him terribly

As you bleat and cry and whine

But all I’ll remember is when

You couldn’t stand to be near him then

Even half the fucking time

6

Vanished

With no idea what this shit means

I’ve fallen apart at the seams

Hidden behind these opaque screens

I only exist now in my dreams

5

The Pact

How very dare

You go up there

Without taking me

Don’t you care

Can’t you see

That’s where I’m

Supposed to be

16

‘You Won’t Know Until You Try…’

Should
we
accidentally
meet

On that
busy,
bustling
street

Would
the birds
above us
tweet

As our
hearts
skip a
beat?

Or would I just blether on a whole heap of shite because I’m clinically depressed and unable to formulate a meaningful conversation with anyone of the opposite sex since my partner died so you just give up trying to listen and walk away thinking who the fuck was that lunatic and happily go about the rest of your life whilst I retreat back to my house wondering why the fuck I even bothered going out in the first fucking place?

38

Old News

Some
people
may
have
already

But
I can
never
forget

For
even
after
all
this
time

I’m
still
fucked
in the
head

13

Deciduous

If
only
you
could
come
back
to me

Like
the
leaves
that
grow
on the
cherry
tree

Standing
outside
our
house

You
can’t
know
how
happy
I’d
be

If
once
more
your
face
I could
see

Standing
outside
our
house

8

Blunt

I
wish
you
were
here
with
me

But
instead
I’m
all
alone

If
only
you
would
write
a letter

Or
call
me on
the
phone

It
would
be so
wonderful
to facetime

Or
if
you
texted
me
instead

But
I know
you
won’t
do any
of these

You
can’t

Because
you’re
dead

9

Ruminating

Will
there be
someone
else
for me

Or
will
I forever
remain
bereft?

For
all I’ve
felt is
numb
you see

Ever
since
the day
you
left

10

Rest In Peace

Someone
sent me
flowers
today

And for
their
kindness
I was
thankful

But
I still
chucked
them
in the
bin

For of
condolences
I’ve had
a tankful

15

That Morning

You
can
try
to
imagine

But
you
can
never
know

How
much
it
tore
me
apart

When
I had
to let
him go

Xxx

4

One Night In Heaven

Now
we’ll
never
hold
hands
again

Walk
in the
park
or
kiss in
the rain

That
only
fading
memories
of us
remain

Just
breaks
my heart
and fucks
with my
brain

10

O Unhappy Day

I never
thought
you
wouldn’t
be here
today

It’s
still
hard to
accept
that you
went away

Perhaps
you’re
still
with me
here in
spirit

I just
wish
your
presence
was more
explicit

Xxx

4

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